GOSH: Launch of new Cellared In Canada wine for Canada Day

 

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Servioes) – The GOSH Wine News Services has just learned of the upcoming launch of a new "Cellared in Canada" (CIC) wine product, apparently just in time for Canada Day.

 

Top wine investigative reporter Brett Grimsby has been on the scene of the secret-but-large winery for weeks now, and he files this story based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known.

 

What we do know is that in a salute to the Canadian North, the new CIC wine (to be available in both TetraPak and PET bottles) will be known as NUNAVUT.

 

What could be more appropriate than to have a national rollout of a Cellared In Canada wine for July 1, guaranteed to be 30% Canadian? 

 

The marketing campaign, to be on billboards everywhere, is supposed to have a wench winking her eye (nudge-nudge, wink-wink) as in the old days of the revered 1950s Pilsener Ice campaign, and saying "I'll have Nunavut".

 

 More on this story as it unfolds by Canada Day….Stay tuned

 

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com

 

 

BREAKING NEWS: Court Imposes Media Ban on Cellared in Canada Water Content Discussions

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine New Services) – In a stunning blow to wine democracy, an Ontario judge has just imposed a ban on media reporting about talks between the Association for Cellared in Canada Wines (ACCW) and the Government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, asserting that privacy trumps the public's right to know.

 

In a decision that could cripple reporters' efforts to write on behind-the-scene negotiations, the judge said that the press had no right to share a tip obtained from a source who wasn't supposed to leak the information.

 

The ruling by Superior Court Justice Brettan O'Myces backs the ACCW, whose lawyer went to court to prevent the Ontario Wine Review from reporting on the ACCW's out-of-court talks with the Government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province.

 

The Ontario government had allegedly colluded with the ACCW to suppress the details of the constituent parts of the Cellared in Canada wines.

 

At one time, CIC wines were to be 70% Canadian wine in content, with the remainder being a mixture of imported wines and water. Eight years ago, due to Ontario grape crop shortages, the blend became 99% imported wines and/or water, plus 1% Canadian wines and/or water. Then it stabilized, but the legislators, by misreading, managed to reverse the original percentages, and there is now a requirement that CIC wines can be up to 70% imported wines with filling out by Canadian wines, plus some water.

 

The Ontario Wine Review had attempted to find details about the water content, as specified by the RSO Water, er, Wine Content Act.

 

Judge O'Myces had already imposed a publication ban on the major Ontario newspapers. (How else to explain their shocking silence on the matter of adding water to wine, which is known as the Jesus Factor?).

 

In his written judgement, Justice O'Myces wrote that ACCW and the Government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, were trying to reach a deal and both sides wanted the talks to remain confidential.

 

When asked to comment, the lawyer for the Ontario Wine Review, Commie Pinko, said reporting on the negotiations is in the public interest since it involves taxpayer dollars. Once the information is leaked to a reporter, he said, it becomes part of the public dissemination of knowledge, churgling through the Internet. He went on to state that the fault was with the ACCW and the Government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, and not with the journalist who merely reported the leaks. No information was obtained by wiretaps or eavesdropping.

 

"There must be safeguards for reporters to write about non-public events that are in the public interest", he said. He went on to compare the issue of the cover-up of the water content in CIC wines to Watergate and the Pentagon papers.

 

Justice Brett O'Myces said that Pinko could be charged with contempt of court, and he extended the court order to also forbid reporting on the content and even the existence of talks between the Association for Cellared in Canada Wines (ACCW) and the Government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province.

 

Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for weeks now, and he filed his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known.

 

This debate between freedom of expression and the protection of privacy centres around the answers to the following questions being discussed by Miffed Mole: Just how much water can be added? Is the water to be filtered? Should there be a taste panel called Water Quality Alliance? What scoring parameters should be used? How best can we market this diluted product? How can we justify an LCBO mark-up on water? Can water be taxed separately? Is the water always inspected for E. coli. ? Bottom line: just how much can we get away with and make tons of money?

 

GOSH Wine News Services is not sure how long it will be in operation since we are reporting in the face of a court-dictated media ban. More on this story as it develops, and as we continue to fight for the rights of wine democracy in Ontario, Soon to Be A Have-Water-Have-Not-Wine Province. The truth will never ever be suppressed…

 

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com

 

 

GOSH Shocker: LCBO to be New VANOC sponsor ?

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – With eight months until the Winter Games, VANOC has lacked a full roster of sponsors for the Winter Olympics. A large gap of some $35-million looms as the IOC tries to deliver on its promised roster of 11 global sponsors. It currently has just nine sponsors, but apparently there is a surprise backer waiting in the wings.

 

Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for weeks now, and he files his story based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known.

 

Grimsby has all the details on this shocker: the new sponsor is the Liquor Control Board of Ontario, A Crown Corporation.

 

The LCBO has apparently been mulling over the situation for quite some time. Deeply placed sources say that the LCBO has always wanted to go "National", and that this might be its best chance.

 

One source said, "We do have a lot of inventory to move, and this'll be our golden opportunity. Our prices have consistently been below the BC Liquor Store prices – and they will continue to be low. At the same time, we'll be doing feelgood stuff by supporting the Olympics. Besides, it'll cover us should there be labour difficulties in Ontario."

 

Vincor, A Constellation Company, had no comment on the matter, except to say that its 100% VQA Esprit wine (to be sold at the Olympics) will now just be sourced from BC grapes only, shutting out Ontario grape growers. A spokesperson from the Government of Ontario, A Have Not Province, was not amused by either actions of the LCBO or Vincor. "This is all so petty", one deeply placed source said. "We don't need this grape hassle now that our summertime is fully occupied with the automotive sector and eHealth and. . ."

 

More on this story as it develops. . .

 

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com

 

 

BREAKING NEWS: An Ontario Government scheme to avert revenue loss caused by pending LCBO strike

TRAWNA - (GOSH Wine News Services) - BREAKING NEWS just in:

The government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, claims to have come up with
a scheme to avert the loss of income through any LCBO strike or lockout.

Top wine investigative reporter Brett Grimsby has been on the scene for
weeks now, and he files this story based on several interviews with Miffed
Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the
situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were
not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre
of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been
finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not
have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may
or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific
timeline is not really known.

What is known, says Grimsby, is that a secret protocol is in the process of
being developed between the Treasury Board of Ontario, A Have-Not Province,
and the Ontario Viniculture Association, A Have-Not Wine Association. Says
Grimsby, "The protocol should be mutually advantageous to both parties. My
sources tell me that in event of a strike or lockout by the LCBO, special
enabling legislation and regulations will be passed allowing all OVA members
to sell wines in outlets throughout Ontario. This will mean farmers'
markets, crafts fairs, vegetable and fruit roadside vending booths, anything
under a tent such as circuses, maybe even Dollaramas."

OVA has secretly been advising its members to ramp up bottling lines, to
produce everything they possibly can in advance of any shutdown expected
after June 24, 2009. The Wine Counsel is not amused, and has been advising
its members to also be prepared in its wine store operations for June 24.

Concerns have been raised within the OVA, over the real possibility that
there might NOT be a strike. Questions have been asked about wine bottling
surpluses. The Ontario government, anxious for a continuing revenue stream,
has not really addressed this issue. Miffed Mole thinks that, if there is no
strike, then the government will simply walk away from the OVA wine surplus,
and expect OVA members to absorb the inventory costs. No bailout is
expected.

More on this exciting and exacting story as it unfolds.

Chimo! www.deantudor.com