VANCOOOOOOVER - GOSH Wine News Services has just learned that the VANOC 2010
Olympic Games will tomorrow be officially re-christened "The Glitch Games"
by the International Olympic Committee.
Top investigative reporter Brett Grimsby had been following this story for
days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed
Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the
situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were
not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre
of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been
finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not
have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may
or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific
timeline is not really known.
Leading the way with the Glitches was the spread of negativity, brooding
analysis, and national shuddering. As one journalist put it, there had been
an "unrelenting litany of strident grumbles, moans, complaints, grievances,
criticisms, accusations and whining." He likened it to a pandemic.
Headlines read "A glitch for every Gold at the Vancouver Games". Murphy's
Law had replaced the Olympic Creed.
The Glitches included warm weather, bad weather, no safety on the Olympic
slide, ticket scams, the cancellation of 40,000 standing-room tickets, a
faulty Canadian ice-cleaning machine, not enough coverage in the French
language, street vandals breaking windows, a malfunctioning spigot on the
luge track, liquor stores not closing at 7 PM to prevent
intoxication-related arrests, leprosy on the cruise ship acting as a hotel,
security breaches, the recall of RCMP security, the gaffe over the
imprisonment of the outdoor Olympic Flame, and the scandal/apology over the
"Own the Podium" program.
But funnily enough, the problem with the Own the Podium program (which
financed and trained Canadian athletes so that they could win a LOT of
medals) was that it had only one goal: win a lot of any medals, which they
then failed to do. They DID succeed in winning more GOLD medals than any
other country in Winter Olympics history. The Own the Podium program should
really have read "Own the Gold" program.then it would have made more sense
and would have been successful.
GOSH, though, has also learned that the FINGERPOINTING "blame game" begins
the day after tomorrow. Among the leading candidates is the Association for
Cellared in Canada Wines which began with a jinxed press release in June
2007, highly touting what would turn out to be a "Cellared in Canada" 100%
imported bulk wine (non-VQA) unleashed on the unsuspecting BC general public
as a fundraiser for Olympic athletes. In Ontario, it was 70% imported wine
with an element of stretch water added. There were no Olympic aspirations
here since it was not our best effort at making wine.
According to the wine media in the 2008 and 2009 blogosphere, the hurried
co-branded wine deal with VANOC was not really well-thought-out. It became a
public relations nightmare, and today it is the definitive case that is
being studied in PR schools everywhere. This was the beginning of the
"Glitches".
Cellared in Canada wines are obviously to blame for EVERYTHING that went
wrong at the Olympics -- because the labels featured finger-painted designs.
VANOC's finger-pointing begins with the finger-painted labels of the
Cellared in Canada wines.
More on this story as it unravels.
Chimo! www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com
