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How would you like to earn a 35% commission for each sale for life by selling SEO services Every website owner requires the use of search engine optimizaztion (SEO) for their websites. Think about it, this is really hot Simply register with us, generate your affiliate links and incorporate them on your websites, thats it. It takes only a few minutes to set up everything and the payouts are sent by each end of the month Click here to sign up with us, totally free: https://www.creative-digital.co/join-our-affiliate-program/ See you inside Haris Sunday, November 20, 2016Trump name change?Dateline Nov 21 - This just in from Fox News North (Postmedia) -- in order to differentiate himself from his various Trump enterprises and empire (Trump University, Trump Towers, Trump Casinos, et al) in order to preserve the blind trust, the President non-elect Donald Trump has registered a surname change, effective immediately upon registration with the Names Commission in Washington, DC. Henceforth he will be addressed after Inauguration Day on January 20 2017 (exactly two months hence) as President Tramp. Sunday, October 2, 2016Re: Blue Jays Blue Song Rally -- now that it's all over...courtesy of Hank Ballard and the MidnightersLol Joe Bornstein PhD Health Innovations Group Managing Director C-416 356-1874 W-416 604-0440 Please excuse any iPhone typos
Saturday, October 1, 2016Blue Jays Blue Song Rally -- now that it's all over...courtesy of Hank Ballard and the Midnighters(Hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now It's finger point pointin' time Finger pointin' pointin' time) I feel so good And that's a real good sign (Here comes Troy and here comes Josh Here comes Dickey and Jose too It's finger point pointin' time) I feel so good And that's a real good sign (Here comes Happ and here comes Loup Here comes Edwin and Cecil too It's finger point pointin' time) I feel so good And that's a real good sign (Hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now It's finger point pointin' time Finger point pointin' time) I feel so good And that's a real good sign Chimo! www.deantudor.com Tuesday, October 13, 2015Re: LCBO to be sold...finallyYippee Joe Bornstein PhD Health Innovations Group Managing Director 416 356-1874 Please excuse any iPhone typos
LCBO to be sold...finallyThis just in from our sources: Today, AB Inbev has a agreed in principle to buy the LCBO lock, stock and barrel...In return, Premier Wynne's government will no longer have to fund OHIP until 2035....The Beer Store has been dissolved, and all craft beers from Ontario can now be sold at any corner store that also sells cigarettes. Chimo! www.deantudor.com Wednesday, April 1, 2015Great Writers on Wine (by Tim Fish){From Tim Fish, at winetoday.com} What if great writers described wines, instead of the usual wine writer or blogger? Someone like -- Ernest Hemingway -- "It is a wine. A good wine, not a great one. It is red. Wet. Its power is obvious, obvious and powerful the way men are, men who hunt and get into bar fights. Real men. Except for the smell. The wine smells better than the men." Woody Allen -- "It's n-n-n-n-ot like I'm the kind of person who drinks Chianti, usually, I mean, I eat pasta and I swell up like a tick on an artery. And garlic, don't even get me started. Yet I like this tart little red in a half-hearted Jungian sort of way. I think back to those blind tastings with the Rabinsky Twins, Doris and Phoebe. I get lightheaded just thinking about it. I still have one of their black leather blindfolds." Raymond Chandler -- "I've swilled better gasoline. That at least was at gunpoint. I should stick with Scotch but I have a thing for blondes, blondes like this Chardonnay. I thought it was classy, it had legs tall and sleek as the Chrysler Building. But it turned out to be trouble, like most blondes, a lot of flashy oak and cheap perfume. You'd think I'd learn my lesson." William Faulkner -- "A wine that calls to mind those languorous Southern summers when the days were oppressively warm and furious and impotent and you wandered the hills around Jacksonboro with your third cousin twice-removed on your mother's side, Finnegan Russell (the elder, not his son who everyone called Buck) and his half-witted dog." Shakespeare -- "O nectar, a poetry profound, a liquid fair and hedonistic, a drink meant truly not for mortals but the gods of misty yore. Burdened not by filtering or fining or such slings and arrows beset by fools. Get thee to a bottle." Dr. Seuss -- "One wine. Red wine. This wine. Bad wine." Chimo! www.deantudor.com Tuesday, April 1, 2014Pandemic Winery to buy Carbon Footprint Wines on April 1It's April, folks, and Pandemic Winery of the Bruce Trail has announced that it has just bought the California winery CARBON FOOTPRINT WINES, and that these wines will be available in Ontario just in time for Mother's Day. Each wine comes in a two kilo bottle with a four inch cork and original lead capsule. Owner Ron Washam-Dryem's motto at Carbon Footprint Wines was "A bigger footprint gets us closer to our destination." He believed that climate change is real and unstoppable. And while others saw this as a negative, he saw it as an opportunity. An opportunity to speed up climate change, get this whole thing over with, end the suspense and get right down to extinction. Says Washam-Dryem, "We're not killing the whole planet; Nature will survive, it always does, we're just killing off ourselves, the human race, an entirely worthy goal. Now, when Ontarians open a bottle of Carbon Footprint Wines, they can rest assured that we've done everything possible to not only make the wine delicious and satisfying, but we've also done everything we can to have degraded our natural resources and contribute to greenhouse gases. You have our word." In order to produce the finest wines possible, grapes need to have the least competition possible. Every insect or weed, every living thing in the vineyard, detracts from the vines. This is simple scientific fact. Carbon Footprint Wines sprays every single available herbicide, pesticide and fungicide over and over again until the only living thing in the vineyard is the grapevine. They make sure to plant on the steepest hillsides for the best soil erosion results, leeching lots of chemicals into local streams and ridding them of annoying piscine pests. Hillside vines make for fabulous Carbon Footprint Zinfandel. The winery recently dynamited their caves and built a gigantic air-conditioned warehouse so it is certain that every bottle of Carbon Footprint Chardonnay will be in perfect condition after its stay in the electricity-guzzling storage facility. Pandemic Winery of the Bruce Trail will continue to maintain this tradition. Each bottle of the California varietals will sell for $9.95; the first to be available is the Zin Sinfandel 2012, CSPC +66669... Chimo! www.deantudor.com Friday, January 24, 2014New Icewine designation approvedThe Harper Government, formerly known as the Government of Canada, today has announced that there is a new VQA Canada designation for a national brand of icewine...logo below...  Chimo! www.deantudor.com Sunday, July 28, 2013BC Wines to find New Borders.HOTEL NOTL -- (GOSH Wine News Services) -- Foxy Wine News Network North, absorbed by scores of people every weeknight, has just learned that on Thursday Win-Win Wynne, the Temporary Premier of Ontario, a have-not province, had spoken out about the possibility of BC wines for purchase in Ontario.... According to other press accounts, after a meeting with colleague Temporary Premier Christie Cookie of British Columbia, an off-the-landshelf province, Win-Win Wynne delivered the following statement: "Premier Clark and I had a good conversation while sharing a case of BC wine -- what we talked about was how we can continue to work together to slow the Canadian wine industry and to diminish our markets. Saviour Harper has decided that the future of Canadian wines will be elsewhere: China." More on this story as it develops... Monday, April 1, 2013Mayor Rob Ford aka Schadenford Resigns for Government PositionTRAWNA – (GOSH News Services) – The Canadian Foxy Wine News Network North has just learned that Mayor Rob Ford (also known as Schadenford) is poised to make a dramatic announcement by Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for some time now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures. Apparently, Mayor Schadenford has been ousted from office. He had been told to resign by an unnamed team of several thousand well-placed Torontonians. He agreed – so long as he could become the new CEO of the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ford's immediate plans certainly involve creating new wines, beers and spirits featuring the well-known "Gravy Train" © TM label. These will roll out over the next few months, heavily pushed by a bevy of former gravy train recipients. Word has also come down, from our more reliable "confidential sources" that he is about to crack open the Oooopsie union. Work will be further contracted out even more than now, but at first only in The LCBO buildings at Stay tuned for our special "What the LCBO will be like under Rob Ford" premiering later tonight on this channel… Chimo! www.deantudor.com Thursday, January 10, 2013Important hot links re: latest wine writer breach of ethics...
Thursday, January 3, 2013Pandemic Winery Gets Reviewed!!TRAWNA -- (GOSH Wine News Services) -- Foxy Wine News Network North has just learned that the respected Pandemic Winery, run by Harley Burr near Sudbury, Ontario, is fast approaching bankruptcy. His wines do not sell in great quantities -- he thinks it is because they do not get reviewed. "But I've been redeemed! Some blogger managed to track me down and requested review copies, and I did not even have to pay to play!! I sent off a mixed case, but only one review has appeared...here it is, from my Pinot Gris/Pinot Grigio Late Retard Blend 2011, 12% ABV, $11.95 plus deposit -- * Classic but sugary, modest but equally complex and stunning Pinot Gris/Grigio blend. The Pinot Grigio component has essenses of garlic, fat dried berry and forward licorice, while the Pinot Gris component is reminiscent of cardboard, whimsical pepper and strong-willed lime. Drink now through April, with lamb lights. Rated: 89/100 -- NMAC I asked who NMAC was, but instead I was referred to a directory which I am still looking for. Ah, well...I hope the sales roll in to stave off the default on my bank loan." More on Harley Burr's story as it develops.... Dean Tudor, Ryerson University Journalism Professor Emeritus
Treasurer, Wine Writers' Circle of Canada Look it up and you'll remember it; screw it up and you'll never forget it. Creator of Canada's award-winning wine satire site at http://fauxvoixvincuisine.blogspot.com Sunday, May 13, 2012Book Review: 1,001 Complete Meals That You Can Whip Up in Less than 20 Minutes... 1,001 Complete Meals That You Can Whip Up in Less Than 20 Minutes while Drinking Two Glasses of Red Wine, That Everyone in Your Family, From the Vegan to the All-meat Eater to the No-Fat Fanatic to the Picky-Just-For-Picky's-Sake, Will Happily Consume, That Contain Only Ingredients You Always Have on Hand Anyway, Are Relatively Healthy Meals, and Cannot Be Burned or Undercooked or Ruined in Any Other Way, with a Special Supplement and Menus for Weekend or Holiday Entertaining crafted by Some of North America's Finest Executive Chefs. Third edition. (Pandemic Press, 2011, 781 pages,$49.99 CND hard covers) is by Roz Chast. It has been authorized by the Professional Food Network Television Cooking School. The title says it all. There are full-page, full-colour gastroporn photos by 12 international food stylists, and the book has been endorsed (logrolled) by Charlie Trotter, Mario Batali, Gordon Ramsay, Rachel Ray and Emeril Lagasse. All recipes have ingredients listed with every known weights and measures system in the world. Bold face type fonts are used where appropriate, and there are twelve wine recommendations for each dish and budget. The last chapter has several thousand tips and advice on how to get others to clean up the kitchen and put out the garbage (most of these involve enslavement of the kids and pets). The book concludes with a source list from every country in the world, plus a comprehensive massive bibliography. Audience: any cook in the land Some impressive recipes: foie gras terrine for under $10; oysters with chewable shells; no-veggie salad; double chocolate mousse with triple creme cheese augmented by a quadruple bypass; Chateau Petrus alfresco bagatelle. What I don't like about this book: the pages are stiff and don't photocopy very well What I do like about this book: the 100,000 items index really works, especially the internal seventh layer of the cross-references. Quality/Price Ratio: 98. Chimo! www.deantudor.com Wednesday, April 25, 2012LCBO to change its name, direction, and consumer data...TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – Foxy Wine News Network, enjoyed by just under 4,000 viewers every night, is proud to present a new investigative journalism show: The LCBO Today…Premiering Fridays at 9PM. Here's a sneak look at out first story … In a move designed to regain control of its place in the Why the subtle change? Said a spokesperson, "It was time for a change. We got tired of being hammered all the time by the Foxy Wine News Network, and decided to re-brand in order to get out from under their sharp eyes." McGinty has hinted that other changes were afoot. The Crown Corp has quietly changed its Sugar Codes, in effect for well over 50 years, to be more urbane so consumers will not have to dodge the question of whether they like their wines sweet or dry. Said one consumer, "I usually like my red wines with upfront jammy fruit, and I got tired of seeing a Sugar Code of 2 or more. Now, it is just labelled "Dry" because there is enough finishing acid to compensate." The Losing Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Loosely Controlled by The Grate Minority McGinty appears to have gone even further: the alcoholic content of wines on its website catalogue disappeared overnight, causing great concern among consumers used to bragging about drinking high alcohol non-Amarone wines at the 15 to 16 per cent level. Said one consumer, "It's a macho thing: not only do I drink it, I tell other consumers in a game of one-up-man-ship, I was there first. I did it, I drank it." Is the LCBO indeed "losing control"? Stay tuned for the four part series, beginning Dean Tudor, Ryerson University Journalism Professor Emeritus
Treasurer, Wine Writers' Circle of Canada Look it up and you'll remember it; screw it up and you'll never forget it. Creator of Canada's award-winning wine satire site at http://fauxvoixvincuisine.blogspot.com Tuesday, April 10, 2012LCBO to rebrand as ABCO, announcement forthcoming later todayTRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network, enjoyed by just under 4,000 daily TV viewers, has just learned of momentous changes coming to the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate Minority McGinty. Apparently, in a brave attempt to reinvent itself, the LCBO will be assuming new branding and new revenue opportunities. A press conference has been called for later today, after the Eastern markets close, at about Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures. What our sources suggest is this: First, the LCBO property at Queens Quay and Second, the property will be re-configured as a combination store. Leading the way with dramatic changes are Daniel Libeskind (think ROM) and Jack Diamond (think Four Seasons Centre). Yes, there will be a Third, the LCBO will be renamed to closer reflect the intent of the new operating agency: ABCO -- Alcohol, Brothel, and Casino The
Said Flighty Dwighty, Ontario's Have-Not Minister of Finance (with cabinet responsibility and accountability for the ABCO), "It's not a casino. It's an entertainment destination with take-out. It will likely be unparalleled in the country. These palaces have some of the finest shopping, restaurants, convention facilities, park spaces, open spaces -- imagine an anchor that could create a golden mile on Toronto's waterfront and that's quite possible." (Globe Tuesday April 10/12, pA10).
Sources also say that it will be an all-in-one vice operation under close police control. On the one hand, the Ontario Government of a Where else could you find three male pleasures under one roof (with take-out), especially when it rains? More on this story as it develops… Sunday, April 1, 2012April job offer at LCBOTODAY is Accordingly, I'd like to announce that I'll soon be getting a new job: Toronto Marketing Manager at the LCBO. They were "looking for a smart, creative and likeable superstar to join our marketing team. As a Marketing Manager, you will lead the strategic and creative development of in-store promotions and multi-media advertising designed to promote LCBO products, generate increased store traffic and sales, and deliver an engaging customer experience." They like me for my "Superb verbal and written communication skills to effectively manage staff, direct agencies, designers, photographers and copy writers, and to deliver briefings and presentations." As well as my "Strong creative eye and the ability to produce beautifully designed and compelling communication pieces." But first, I need to "Develop strategic marketing plans based on research and analysis, consumer insights, and trends that deliver measurable sales results and customer engagement." With my contacts Brett Grimsby and Miffed Mole, I can "Plan, create and implement highly engaging promotions that highlight LCBO as a world-class retailer of beverage alcohol products, a destination for entertaining inspiration and a friendly and approachable source for product knowledge." I can also "Plan, develop and execute in-store Once I start this job, I'll honourably resign as Treasurer and Member of the Wine Writers' Circle of Canada (conflict-of-interest by-laws), but, of course, after I transfer the several hundred thousand dollars in the Treasurer's account over to my offshore interests… So: there will be plenty of gravy available for my fellow WWCC cohorts and colleagues. I'll be calling on you to help supply me with ideas and copy, for which I will pay and for which you will receive credit. I'm looking forward to it all. And you know what? There's probably an app for this job…I'm just sayin'… Monday, March 26, 2012LCBO to raise prices 50% on high alcohol winesTRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network, always enjoyed by 4,000 weeknight watchers, has just learned from our sources that The Grate McGinty's Minority Ontario Government, a Have-Not Government in Canada, will be seeking more money from the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation. Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this leaked story, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may be imminent with tomorrow's budget, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures. According to a spokesperson from the LCBO, the Darth "Vader" Grabinsky report commissioned to assess ways and means of revenue generation at the LCBO actually included an idea on raising wine prices. Lax Oversight, the LCBO spokesperson who subsequently denied that his conversation was "on the record", said that the Ontario Budget will propose an immediate 50% increase in the base price of all wines sold in Ontario which exceed 12.5% Alcohol By Volume ( Foxy Wine News Network will stay on top of this story and will report further as new developments emerge… Sunday, March 18, 2012Deal with Grabinsky and Ontario Government over Ontario AlcoholTRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – There's been a recent development in the perceived takeover of the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate Minority McGinty. The Foxy Wine News Network has just learned that a deal has been negotiated with Darth Grabinsky, who is currently serving time for a range of wrong-doings. According to high-ranking officials, the Minority Have-Not Government of Ontario has bargained with the convicted Grabinsky, giving the former entrepreneur one week to take over the LCBO and to fix it in exchange for a major reduction to his sentence, in essence setting him free. Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures. After determining that the current flak about contrived wholesale prices could not be resolved by conventional means, Ontario wine agents confronted Grabinsky and proposed a mutually beneficial arrangement that will make him (in conjunction with the Ontario legal system) a free man if he can safely get in and get out and turn around the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate Minority McGinty. Said Miffed Mole: "Basically, he's agreed to the mission. There's a strong chance that he'll go rogue once he realizes it is all but hopeless, so we've implanted a tracking device in his body. We're also prepared with backup. Mayor SchadenFord of Byzantine expert Grabinsky is expected to sort his way through a maze of complex multiple-source spending, revenue-sharing, and tax credit advantages to juggle the substantial costs of the wholesale system. The Foxy Wine News Network, which, like every news organization, doesn't know anything about economics beyond arithmetic and paycheques, will be hiring outside consultants to advise its news presentations. More on this story as it unfolds tomorrow…
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