GOSH: LCBO to announce wine policy change for summer; red wine no longer to be offered.

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – In a dramatic breakthrough in the cash crunch category of heavy inventory, the Liquor Control Board of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, has made a decision to alleviate fiscal problems of long standing.

 

As it now develops, the LCBO will no longer be selling red wines during the summer period.

 

Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known.

 

"We have a whole shipload of wines in our warehouses," said spokesperson Miffed Mole.  "And quite frankly, we can make more money by offering this space as storage for some of Toronto's garbage. Certainly, it cannot smell any worse than the Cellared in Canada area here."

 

The plan is to sell only white wines, bubblies, and rose wines until Labour Day, and then honour the adage "Nothing white after Labour Day". By September 7, these wines should all sell out, reducing bloated inventory, and then the LCBO will once again be offering red wines, which are, of course, the preferred colour for fall, winter and spring.

 

Mole said: "Everybody with a wine diploma knows reds are the ultimate cool climate wines, so why not sell them In Ontario just at that cooler time of year?"

 

Consignment wines will not be affected, and may be the only summer source of red wines, along with Ontario winery stores. Unfortunately, true to form, fruit wines were never ever a factor.

 

Reactions from consumer focus groups were apparently enthusiastic since white wines and roses are demonstrably less expensive than red wines. Said one respondent: "I'm all in favour of cheaper wine. Bring it on!"

 

A press conference is being called for this Thursday, at LCBO HQ. More on this story then, as it develops…

 

www.deantudor.com