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Thursday, February 18, 2010

GOSH: Olympic Marauders trash "Cellared in Canada" wines...

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) --  In a stunning display of bravado, over 600 dark shirted Olympic rioters descended on all of the government liquor stores in the Vancouver-Whistler area simultaneously.


The closely orchestrated, tightly scripted display of vandalism by the balaclava-masked marauders showed great team work and precision worthy of an Olympic Gold Medal.


With "Cellared in Canada" inscribed on their shirts, the teams chanted "See Eye Sea" over and over – and then broke into the stores, startling wine and liquor consumers right across the cities.


Allegedly, their goal was to grab and smash all "Cellared in Canada" product, which (to British Columbia's everlasting shame) comprises 100% imported wine product.


Instead, they apparently just loaded up some skids and took the wines with them to the Olympic Torch waterfront park where they tore down the fence barricades and began quaffing the wines at the torch site as quickly as they could.


Said one masked man, "We just wanted to have some fun and get rid of this cheap wine so that the Good Citizens of BC and the Good Tourists of the World won't have to drink them all themselves. We're selfless that way. Besides, it's a pretty good cheap alcoholic hit. Sorry, gotta go and get stoned before the fuzz arrive…"


More on the achievements of the Olympic Vigilantes as they happen…



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