GOSH: Release of secret fruit wine tasting notes

REAL NEWS: Afghan detainee records can be made public, while pets can be euthanized.

========================

Trawna – (GOSH Wine News Services) –- Today, the Harper government and opposition parties have agreed in principle to use a panel of outside experts to referee disputes over whether secret fruit wine tasting notes can be made public after being shown to select MPs. This is in keeping with the Speaker's ruling. But the Harper minority government does not want these parliamentarians by themselves to have the power to declassify secret documents.

Apparently, without the release of these secret fruit wine tasting notes, the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province, cannot make a move towards listing Ontario fruit wines in their inventory.

Said the CEO of Fruit Wines of Ontario: "We desperately need the release of these notes so that our members can begin selling their lovely fruit wines to a larger audience throughout Ontario and other provinces."

A spokesperson for the LCBO said that the notes must be forthcoming by Friday. "That's a deadline. Otherwise, fruit wines of Ontario will not get listed – if at all -- until a year from now."

If the parties can clinch a deal, they can avert an unprecedented parliamentary showdown and possible federal election.

Meanwhile, Ontario Premier Grate McGinty has said that he understands that it is difficult for some, but said people must trust the LCBO's decision to get these notes and put down some wines. "It's very painful for those who have to watch from the sidelines, but I think we have to have confidence in our experts," said McGinty.

The Government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, admits that it does not have authority over the Liberal Control of Beverages in Canada. "It's a Clown, er, Crown Corporation, independent of day-to-day government. They get to decide which wines to put down. It's up to their experts. That's why they need the fruit wines' tasting notes, to decide which wines to put down."

More on this development as it happens…

 

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

 

 

GOSH: Excellence Research Chair in Wine to Brock and Niagara.

REAL NEWS: A $200-million international recruitment drive is bringing 19 leading researchers to Canadian campuses with multimillion-dollar grants.

 

 

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – At a Press Conference to be called later this afternoon, the Federal Government of Canada will be announcing an academic researcher enhancement plan for Canadian universities and colleges.

The researchers – half recruited from the United States, with four from Britain and the rest from Germany, France and Brazil – will each receive $10-million over seven years as the first group of Canada Excellence Research Chairs.

For Ontario, the Excellence Research Chairs will include one in Wine, to be served jointly between Brock University and Niagara College. GOSH Wine News Services has learned that Michel Rolland from France has been enticed to come to Niagara to do academic research in the production of wine.

In all, 13 universities will welcome these scientists to their campuses, most with colleagues and graduate students in tow. As part of the recruitment package, several of their spouses were offered academic posts at their new campuses as well.

Apparently, Rolland (and his researcher wife Dany) will leave his Bordeaux lab and come to Ontario to research fruit-heavy and oak-influenced wines. The idea, proposed by Jim Warren, head of Fruit Wines of Ontario, is the reverse of what has been happening around the world, thus making his idea unique and pertinent to Ontario.

Says Warren: "I am so sick and tired of hearing and reading about grape wines described as fruit-bombs and full of fruits like cassis, blackberry, plums, peaches, cherries, strawberries, raspberries, pears. apples, and the like. Why not call a spade a spade? Why not delve into Ontario fruits and make them more like grape wines ought to be? Why shouldn't a wine made from black currants be loaded with cassis and compete with those big heavy cabs and merlots, eh?"

Rolland's main research portfolio will be to look at creating fruit wines to merge into the grape wine profile. In an exclusive interview, he said: "I'm back to micro-oxygenation. This technique actually works better with fruit wines than it does with grape wines. Within a short period of time, we should be able to turn every single fruit wine into a "better-than" grape wine. We'll look at black currants and turn them into fat cabernets and merlots. Strawberries? Fruitier gamay or tempranillo. Blackberries? Syrah, which I will rename here in Ontario as SheeRaz™. Black cherry? Try zinfandel or merlot. Apples? Unoaked Chardonnays. Cherries and raspberries? Pinot noir. Plums? Merlot or Malbec of course. Peaches? Viognier or riesling. Prunes? Nebbiolo. Sour cherries? Try sangiovese. And on and on…"

Warren, when apprised of Rolland's immediate plans, further suggested that Rolland tackle oak. "Hey, why stop with fruit? Go directly to oak and make an oak wine…I love it!"

According to the terms of the research excellence agreement, Rolland is to spend some of his time at Niagara College which is undertaking the vegetative component of wines. Brock will do the fruit, Niagara will do the vegetables.

Rolland admits that it is a little harder doing things with bell peppers, grass, hay, mushrooms, and the like. Sauvignon Blanc styles come to mind, and grass in Ontario is cheap. "But", he said, "I like the students' approach: we can make a true pizza wine based on peppers, tomatoes, and dairy products. Maybe we can also make a wine from oak chips or dust as well."

During the summers, rather than spend time with his family, Rolland has contracted with the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Have-Not Province, to do some Product Consulting in the stores. "I like to be with the ultimate consumers, to see and hear what they are tasting. Without them, I don't exist."

More on this Press Conference as it happens…

 

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

 

 

LCBO Strings Attached

LCBO Strings Attached [reprinted]

 

Written by Rob Cornforth, Ottawa Life Magazine

 

LCBO MonopolyLCBO requests Letter to Editor be published "with no strings attached".

 

In the January 2010 issue of Ottawa Life Magazine, (OLM) we published a feature article by wine writer, Michael Pinkus, (www.ontariowinereview. com). Pinkus reported that the LCBO handed out over 6 million dollars in bonuses during the economic downturn of 2008. The feature was read by thousands of readers both in print and online at www.ottawalife. com and readers' opinions were all similar, ranging from anger to complete disgust.

 

On January 25, 2010, Chris Layton, LCBO, Corporate Communications, contacted OLM. He suggested the writer had a personal bias against the LCBO, cited what he claimed were inaccuracies in Pinkus's article, and said that the LCBO had not been contacted by Pinkus to inform the story. When OLM immediately responded that our Editor would be pleased to interview the CEO of the LCBO whenever it was convenient, we were advised that an interview would not be possible. The magazine was also told that the communications shop at the LCBO would "consider" answering questions about the operation only after OLM published, in full and with no edits, a letter the LCBO had prepared refuting Pinkus's "inaccuracies."

 

Our questions to the LCBO management team would first be screened by LCBO communications staff to ensure they were appropriate for management.

 

In an email to OLM, LCBO spokesperson Layton replied that the LCBO would not agree to an interview saying, "When we have responded to articles in other publications with letters to clarify incorrect or misleading information, those letters have been published.

 

Mr. Layton's boss, a Mr. Williams, then contacted OLM (and we are

 

not making this up!) to inform us that Mr. Pinkus and other writers like him from media groups such as the Toronto Star, held grudges against the LCBO. Williams continued to refer to the Pinkus article in a derogatory manner while avoiding many of the numerous key issues it raised. When asked about the LCBO's response, Pinkus replied, "the LCBO can get mad but there is nothing untrue in my article. As you can see for yourself, they have no interest in disclosure or in anyone questioning them, period. They even refused the requests of the Publisher and Editor of OLM to interview them after the story of their bonuses and other questionable conduct was raised. They see the best form of communication as no communication but they pretend otherwise." Williams and Layton outright refused OLM's request to do an interview with the LCBO President and CEO Bob Peter. Layton then added tersely, "should OLM choose not to publish the letter in response to the Pinkus article, the LCBO will have to consider other options to publicly correct the misinformation in Mr. Pinkus' opinion piece." (This was taken as a veiled threat of legal action against the magazine).We reminded Mr. Williams that we do not report to him. Ironically, Williams' and Layton's boorish attitude and response mirror the very bad behaviour and presumption of entitlement described by Pinkus in his article, LCBO Monopoly.

 

OLM continues to have a growing response to the January 2010 feature story LCBO Monopoly. Conservative Party Leader and Official Opposition Leader Tim Hudak told OLM that he sees concerns with the LCBO monopoly as symptoms of a greater flaw. He cites the LCBO as a perfect example of this reckless spending and refers to the six million dollars in bonuses that were awarded to LCBO management in 2008. "During these challenging economic times, where we've seen unprecedented job losses and a massive deficit, six million in bonuses to LCBO management is wrong," Hudak says. "We have always maintained that public sector contracts need to reflect private sector realities. Right now we're saddled with a $25 billion deficit, more than all the other provinces and territories combined- thanks to the reckless spending of this Liberal government. Ontario taxpayers should never pay for Dalton McGuinty's waste, mismanagement, and pay-outs to Liberal friends and insiders." The Ontario PC Leader points out that LCBO doling out bonuses is just one of many examples of taxpayer money being mismanaged by McGuinty's government.

 

"Whether it's a $750,000 pay-out to the former CEO at OLG, a $114,000 bonus to the eHealth CEO after just 4 months on the job, followed by a $317,000 pay-out when she was fired, or the channelling of excessive salaries through hospital budgets for Ontario bureaucrats, it is apparent that Dalton McGuinty is using public agencies as his own slush fund for Liberal friends and insiders." NDP Leader Andrea Horwath echoed Hudak's comments about the LCBO adding, "This is a problem that is endemic to this Liberal government. You just need to look at the scandal in eHealth and the things that we're uncovering in all kinds of agencies, boards and commissions, including even the hospital sector where we see all kinds of outrageous salaries and bonuses and these kinds of in appropriate payments. I don't think

 

it's just the LCBO. I think it's actually a culture of entitlement that's been fostered by this Liberal government and that has spread through all kinds of organizations and agencies. So the issue is more: how do we control that? How do we make sure that culture, if you will, is nixed? We need get to an understanding that these agencies are serving a greater purpose: to provide value for the taxpayer, the people of the province. Horwath is on to something there.

 

The LCBO is not a private sector company. It is a government agency, which, at the end of the day, is accountable to Ontarians. As such, its affairs are of public interest. Premier McGuinty himself has indicated he expects a much higher level of accountability and transparency from Ontario agencies. OLM decided to publish the LCBO letter in the interests of transparency. In the interest of accuracy and LCBO shareholders, we added some facts (in bold) that they left out in their rebuttal. If the LCBO President and CEO Bob Peter and his management team are confident in the way they are running things, then they should have no problem with an open and transparent interview process.

 

The letter from the LCBO speaks for itself. Be sure to check out the next issue of OLM for the full interview with PC Party Leader Tim Hudak and NDP Leader Andrea Horwath. n

 

January 25, 2010

 

Dear Mr. Cornforth:

 

Michael Pinkus' January opinion piece, LCBO Monopoly, is contradictory. He has positive things to say about the LCBO. He quotes a wine agent saying privately-owned stores can't offer the LCBO's selection or its one-stop shopping experience throughout Ontario. He recognizes the LCBO delivered a $1.4 billion dividend to the government last year.

 

But then he regurgitates old and largely unfounded allegations against the LCBO. We have responded publicly to these allegations, but none of our responses appear in his piece. Nor did he contact us for comment.      

 

His piece is also misleading and inaccurate. Here are the true facts:

 

   1. LCBO investment in new and upgraded stores provides a solid return on investment, helping LCBO increase annual dividends to government. (LCBO has no competition in Ontario and is widely disliked by Ontario wineries.)
   2. Off-site winery stores are regulated by the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario, not LCBO. (The LCBO has been criticized for years for not buying Ontario wines and for not promoting the Ontario domestic wine industry with its own purchasing power and marketing dollars. For example, the LCBO buys hundreds of thousands of bottles of Australian wines and sells them at their Food and Wine Shows in Ontario but local wine producers from Ontario are not allowed to sell their wines at these same shows unless they are approved by the LCBO. The LCBO was at the centre of a dis-information scandal last year regarding the selling of wines with the title "Cellared in Canada". Consumers thought they were buying Canadian wines, but did not read the small print on the bottles. The grapes were from abroad and mixed with some Canadian grapes. The LCBO sold these as "Canadian wines" until they were forced to publicly admit they were not Canadian, but a mixed blend.)
   3. LCBO "executives" didn't receive $6.2 million in salary bonuses in 2007-08. That total was spread among 900 employees, most of whom were not managers, let alone senior managers or executives.

 

(LCBO refuses to disclose the breakdown of the amounts of the $6 million in bonuses, the salaries for its executive team and its Board Members or their expenses.)

 

   1. LCBO proudly supports Ontario wineries. Ontario VQA wine sales at LCBO rose by more than 16 per cent last year, driven in large part by LCBO initiatives. (The volume of purchases of Ontario wines is dismal compared to the volume of wines LCBO buys abroad. Notice the LCBO does not say 16 per cent of what. That is because the number is so small compared to their other purchases.)
   2. LCBO promotes social responsibility beyond TV commercials by marketing its products with food, refusing to serve minors and intoxicated adults and providing responsible hosting tips and solutions. (The majority of LCBO's promotions relate to consumption, primarily of foreign wines and spirits.)
   3. LCBO is profitable. It has delivered 15 straight record dividends to the Ontario government. Those dividends increased from $680 million in 1996-97 to $1.4 billion in 2008-09, despite few increases to taxes or LCBO markups. (It is easy to be profitable when you are a monopoly. The 2005 Beverage Alcohol System Review Panel chaired by John Lacey submitted its report to the McGuinty Government in 2005 which declared: "We have found that the current system falls considerably short of generating the maximum return for taxpayers. In recommending LCBO privatization, the report stated: "We conservatively estimate that, …this plan {privatization} would produce at least $200 million more government revenue than the government currently receives from the beverage alcohol system.")

 

Most disappointingly, Mr. Pinkus, whom we respect as a wine writer, questions the integrity of hard working LCBO retail employees who help consumers better appreciate beverage alcohol, much like he does. That's something he should applaud. (The LCBO wrote this in a letter but in several documented emails and phone calls to OLM, LCBO "communications" staff said they did not like Mr. Pinkus, that he was biased like many other writers at the Toronto Star and elsewhere and they would never meet with him and he would not be allowed to meet with LCBO officials.)

 

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

 

 

Wine Glasses Used to See Out Of

No real critic would
Ever use the haiku form
except for humor

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

 

 

GOSH: Ontario to link wine CEOs pay to quality and service of products,

REAL NEWS HEADLINE: Ontario to link hospital CEOs' pay to quality of patient care.

=====================

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Grate McGinty is expected to make an announcement later today concerning compensation for Ontario CEOs who work and play in this Have-Not Province.

Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known.

The compensation of Ontario chief executive officers would be tied to how effectively they improve the quality of their product and services. There is a proposal in Cabinet right now for pay-for-performance rules.

The proposed legislation is part of the McGinty government's plan to get a bigger bang for the investments it is making in health care, postsecondary education, and wine programs. McGinty has said that he would consider expanding the concept of pay-for-performance to the top executive of every Clown, er, Crown Corporation, agency, board and commission in Ontario.

The government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, is now changing the rules. "We admit," said a spokesman for the Cabinet, "that we're a Have-Not Province. And we've got to do better with what we have, to maximize our minimal resources. We've got to emphasize Ontario products above the rest. To do less would undermine our heritage."

The new rules will begin to be implemented some time next week, and they will apply to the industry that has been hit the hardest in Ontario, the wine, alcohol and grape sector. The proposal is to target CEOs in this sector, many of whom made over $50,000 last year. While the Excellent Wine for All Bill is not expressly designed to lower salaries and bonuses for top executives of the province's sales outlets (Winery Stores, the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, the multiple wine stores under one ownership, the CellaredinCanada™ progam, the Freggie™ program, etc.), compensation could go up or down depending on performance.

Said the Minister, "I am concerned about compensation generally in the agri-wine sector, but this bill does not address those concerns. Their mandate, in this sector, will be to increase sales of Ontario grapes and wines (especially wines made from non-grape fruit).

The new rules would make executives accountable not just for the fiscal health of their wine stores and outlets but also how effectively they put wine consumers' needs first. The government apparently has no plans to play a more hands-on role in the sale and consumption of Ontario wine. The wage freeze will not be discussed, but boards must oversee the development of a quality improvement plan, and an unspecified portion of the CEO's compensation would be tied to achieving its objectives.

When asked for some examples, the Ministry spokesperson said that the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Crown Corporation of a Have-Not Province, should bring forth more Ontario wines into its Vintages portfolio, and especially into its Classics Catalogue. "We'd expect to see more Fruit Wines of Ontario products available in all of the stores" said the government flack. "Also, the CellaredinCanada™ program needs re-working so that it is more acceptable to the Good Citizens of Ontario, A Have-Not Province. I mean, really, do we even know where the stretch water component comes from? Does the government's Quality Assurance Lab even test this water? Stuff like that…" If successful, then winery CEO salaries could rise to as high as $60,000 a year.

It will take some time and effort to get the Wine and Grape Growers' Allianz on board, as well as the VQA, the LCBO, DrinksOntario, and all of the other players.

But Brett Grimsby said today, "I don't think it's going to happen. This is an entrenched industry. But if it does happen, I predict that CEO salaries will plummet. Watch for it…"

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

 

 

Toronto Star, May 13/10: Front page Story on LCBO and HST

Wine and liquor prices are expected to rise in July even though the business-friendly HST will actually lower tax rates on booze.

 

Internal industry research reveals that while consumers will pay the equivalent of an 8 per cent provincial sales tax after July 1 — instead of the existing 12 per cent on alcohol — retail prices will not drop.

 

Harmonized sales tax»
by Robert Benzie Queen's Park Bureau Chief

 

You can expect to pay more to drown your sorrows over the 13 per cent harmonized sales tax this summer.

 

Wine and liquor prices are expected to rise in July even though the business-friendly HST will actually lower tax rates on booze, the Star has learned.

 

Internal industry research reveals that while consumers will pay the equivalent of an 8 per cent provincial sales tax after July 1 — instead of the existing 12 per cent on alcohol — retail prices will not drop.

 

Nor will drinks necessarily be any cheaper in your favourite pub or bistro, despite the fact bar owners and restaurateurs will also effectively pay 8 per cent, down from the current 10 per cent tax for licensees.

 

While Premier Dalton McGuinty wants savings passed on to consumers, the LCBO has a policy of "social responsibility" which prevents them from bringing prices down to a level which would encourage alcohol abuse.

 

"It's counter-intuitive. Tax rates are decreasing because of the harmonization, but the prices on the shelf are actually going to be increased," warned one senior industry official, who spoke on condition of anonymity due to fear of retribution from the Liquor Control Board of Ontario.

 

"And that's going to surprise consumers. They should be expecting a reduction."

 

That's because the LCBO has quietly increased its mark-up by 7.5 per cent. On imported wines the mark-up has soared to 71.5 per cent from 64 per cent, and on domestic wines it has risen to 65.5 per cent from 58 per cent.

 

To keep prices the same, sources say the markup should at most increase just 6.5 per cent.

 

For example, a 750 millilitre bottle of Wolf Blass Yellow Label Cabernet Sauvignon, a popular Australian red wine that currently retails for $16.35, should be dropping in price to $15.80 thanks to the HST.

 

However, sources say the retail price will jump to $16.45 — only a dime more than it is now, but 65 cents higher than it needs to be.

 

Similarly, the HST should lower the price of a 750 millilitre bottle of Pelee Island VQA Chardonnay, an Ontario white, from $17.95 to $17.35. Instead, it will go up to $18.05. That's 70 cents in lost savings to wine drinkers.

 

"They want to preserve government revenue and they also want to preserve pricing in the interest of social responsibility. That's a big thing. In that sense, it's not about social responsibility, it's all about revenue," said the industry source.

 

On Wednesday night, finance ministry officials insisted any retail price changes are to offset a $24 million tax break to licensees that was handed over in January to soften the blow of the HST. They argued the government ultimately will not gain any more revenue.

 

The LCBO's Steve Erwin said the province has ordered its retailer to ensure any changes due to the HST will be "revenue neutral."

 

"So the tax comes down, the mark-up goes up from the LCBO point of view. The expectation is that any change you would see in the stores would be minimal. Certainly it varies from product to product," said Erwin.

 

"It's early days and we're just getting information now from suppliers in terms of their re-quotes, but the early expectation is that you won't see too much of a difference – a few pennies, maybe, in some cases.

 

"If you just lowered the tax rate without making any other changes to price, then prices would fall."

 

That would contradict LCBO's long-standing policy of keeping prices "socially responsible" to discourage drinking and driving, underage imbibing, and general abuse of alcohol.

 

Indeed, the 610-store chain works closely with organizations like Mothers Against Drunk Driving to promote safe consumption of alcohol.

 

But another industry insider questioned the social responsibility argument when it comes to the looming price changes.

 

"The problem is these liquor prices are going to be so much higher than … the 'social reference price,' which is the minimum price that products should hit the market. There's very few that are at the floor. Most products are priced higher than that," the source said.

 

The blending of the 8 per cent provincial sales tax with the 5 per cent federal GST takes effect on Canada Day and will mean higher levies on about one in six products and services, including gasoline, haircuts, taxi fares, legal fees, and home electricity and Internet bills.

 

Economists argue that while consumers will pay more, the measure should jolt the economy and create 600,000 new jobs.

 

Ironically, any LCBO price hike would contradict advice from McGuinty, who wants businesses to pass along to consumers the savings from the new tax.

 

"It's my expectation," McGuinty told reporters Wednesday, when asked if the lower cost of doing business in Ontario should mean cheaper prices.

 

"We know that 85 per cent of the savings are passed through by the third year and the balance shortly thereafter," the premier said, referring to the experience in the 140 jurisdictions around the world that have harmonized taxes.

 

"There's a pretty solid record of the impact this will have on spending and what happens in terms of savings and whether they are in fact passed on and they are," he said.

 

"It's a highly competitive business world. If you're not passing on your savings to me, he is and I'm shopping from him."

 

Asked if businesses were "gouging" if they didn't lower prices, McGuinty said: "I'm just saying in a competitive world, you're going to want to pass along the savings."

 

Reprinted from the Front Page of the Thursday May 13, 2010 edition of the Toronto Star.

 

 

Beer and Butter Tarts

[www.beerandbuttertarts.com]
Folks, there is a new Food Aggregator in town...One that wants to go
national...It's Beer and Butter Tarts, and it likes to tie up and link together
all of the food blogs in Canada...a noble idea.

Try it at http://www.beerandbuttertarts.com

It'll serve as a master list and index to all Canadian food bloggers.

Thanks, guys!!!

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

 

 

GOSH: Supreme Court May Force GOSH to reveal its wine sources.

REAL BREAKING NEWS -- In an 8-1 ruling May 7, the Supreme Court of Canada
said that in an age of blogging, twittering, and long-range microphones, the
media are too amorphous to enjoy a right to protect confidential sources,
and too ungovernable to exercise it properly. No journalist can give a
source total assurance of confidentiality.

===========

TRAWNA, MAY 8 - (GOSH Wine News Services) - Two days after GOSH launched
its IPO, raising $10,500.43, the prestigious wine news gathering service was
hit with the market-sagging possibility of having to divulge the names of
its sources in the industry.

"This Supreme Court ruling could be potentially and fiscally disastrous for
us," said Brett Grimsby, GOSH's top wine investigative reporter. "We live
and die by our informants. They are our prime source of information about
companies from within, and our prime source of gossip about companies from
without."

Dean Tudor, CEO GOSH, added: "Where would we be? We'd never to be able to
make statements such as filing reports based on several interviews with
Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the
situation, and who spoke to me on condition of anonymity because they were
not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre
of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been
finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not
have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may
or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific
timeline is not really known."

GOSH has gone to a lot of trouble to seek and isolate a collection of
troublemakers, whistleblowers, disgruntled former employees, and put-upon
retirees, to come up with the collective Miffed Mole "source". But GOSH may
not be able to protect those sources any longer.

"Of course we can comply with the Court ruling," said an uptight Grimsby.
"Our source is Miffed Mole, and we can name him: Miffed Mole. What more do
they want?"

CEO Tudor went on, "Our sources are the top prime weasels in the business:
there are no baser people than these grudge-minded ratters. We take pride in
having such sources inside every single element of the Ontario wine
industry.

"The Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Crown Corporation
of a Have-Not Province? We're there! We're in Human Resources, we're in
Accounting, we're in Quality Lab, we're in Product Consultants, we ARE
everywhere - even in the Durham Warehouse!!

"Fruit Wines of Ontario? We're there. The Alcohol and Gaming Commission of
Ontario, A Have-Not Province? We're there. Vintners Quality Alliance? Wine
Council of Ontario? Winery and Grower Alliance of Ontario? Wine Writers'
Circle of Canada? We're there, and there, and there.

"Our sources extend to Little Fat Wino, Ontario Winery Review, Ontario
Greenbelt Alliance, the Wine Rack stores, the Vineyards Stores, the
CellaredinCanadaT and FreggieT programs, we're everywhere.

"In fact, more than half the people working for Vincor, A Constellation
Company, are our sources.

"OK? So we've named them. Miffed Mole works everywhere. . .He is the
greatest source of wine disinformation that ever existed. If he ever had an
IPO, he's make ten times what we made."

GOSH CEO Tudor went on, "I can see this real concern that sources may begin
to dry up for fear of being named, and that journalists may feel compelled
to destroy material that could expose these contacts of ours. But if so, we
can move ahead. We have one weapon at our disposal: fabrication. We'll just
make up everything. But we'd rather not. We'd rather be truthful about wine.
In vino veritas."

More on this stunning new development as it evolves.

Chimo! www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

Damages renewed for Season Four -- story arc released...(Variety)

Season Four -- Damages ...

 

Opening graphic -- THREE MONTHS LATER

 

There is a blue haze everywhere, people are walking around in black, smoking and drinking, mumbling about how bad it is, how terrible life is, what will I do now?  We don't know these people, their faces are obscured. Is this a wake?

 

Patty is alone by the water. She stares into the water.

 

Street scene: hustle and bustle. Patty is in a cafe having a coffee. Daniel Purcell wanders over. "Patty?" he says. "Patty Hewes, is that you?" He asks to sit down, they renew old acquaintance...

 

Jill is in jail, she has been unco-operative. We see her with bruises and a black eye, a slash across her chin. She has been savagely beaten by her P4W mates. Michael is not allowed to visit her.
Suddenly, she convulses, and we see -- in a virtual repeat of the previous season's finale -- her giving a bloody birth to something. Lots of blood and screaming. Jill dies.

 

Graphic -- TEN WEEKS LATER.

 

There is a blue haze everywhere, people are walking around in black, smoking and drinking, mumbling about how bad it is, how terrible life is, what will I do now?  We don't know these people, their faces are obscured. Suddenly, a light shines and we can recognize some faces from Season One...They are all here, parading about. Mumbling now turns to laughter.

 

Michael has moved back home, to his mother. There is nowhere else to go. Daniel has now moved into the apartment, and begins to play a bonding role with his son, Michael. Michael seethes inside. One night, after references to horses and racing, Daniel mounts Patty and begins to beat her buttocks. Enraged, Michael finds a sabre and lops off Daniel's head. Blood splatters all over Patty who begins to scream and fantasize yet again about horses. In her dreams, she was having an affair with a horse trainer who looked exactly like Tom Shayes.

 

Graphic -- EIGHT WEEKS LATER

 

There is still a blue haze everywhere, people are walking around in black, smoking and drinking, mumbling about how bad it is, how terrible life is, what will I do now?  We don't know these people, their faces are obscured. Suddenly, more light shines and we can recognize that some faces are from Season Two...They are all here, parading about. Mumbling turns to laughter and hand gestures. Welcoming words are spoken.

 

Art Frobisher has been spending his jail time in the library, and he has discovered that in that state, prisoners can run for elected office. Frobisher decides to do so. His campaign eats up four episodes...

 

Graphic -- THREE WEEKS LATER

 

There is still a blue haze everywhere, people are walking around in black, smoking and drinking, mumbling about how bad it is, how terrible life is, what will I do now?  We don't know these people, their faces are obscured. Suddenly, more light shines and we can recognize that some faces are from Season Three...They are all here, parading about. Mumbling turns to laughter and hand gestures. Welcoming words are spoken...what can this be? Is it purgatory or limbo?

 

Michael's trial is about to begin, and Patty (during Frobisher's campaign) has enlisted Ellen to defend him. During their consultations, they fall in love...and consummate the relationship. This eats up two episodes. Patty knows something has gone on between the two, but she just cannot put her finger on it...

 

Graphic:  ONE WEEK LATER

 

There is still a blue haze everywhere, people are walking around in black, smoking and drinking, mumbling about how bad it is, how terrible life is, what will I do now?  We don't know these people, their faces are obscured. Suddenly, even more light shines and we can recognize that some more faces are from Season Four...They are all here, parading about. Mumbling turns to laughter and hand gestures. Welcoming words are spoken. Jill -- or her spectre -- makes an appearance. Daniel Purcell has found his head, put it on, and moves around the "party" or "wake".

 

In order to tie up all the loose ends and speculation of the previous Four Seasons, there is a three hour finale followed by a four hour discussion panel (which includes Internet web feedback, Twitter and Facebook responses).

 

During the three hour finale, Art Frobisher loses it at a Political Debate with his opponent, played by his former lawyer Ray. Frobisher lunges at Ray, misses, and is electrocuted when his hand grabs an unshielded mike during the thunderstorm that suddenly appeared. Ray then disappears in a puff of smoke with a demonic howl. Every lawyer who has ever appeared (whether with lines or just as an extra) in Damages (except for Patty and  Ellen) now gets nailed in scenes reminiscent of the grand takeout by "Michael" in The GodFather". The scenes with Marcia Gay Haden are particulary gruesome.

 

Julia arises from the grave, and kills a horse. She takes it to Patty's place.
Patty wakes up with a horse's head in bed with her -- it looks and talks just like Mr. Ed. David and his sister reappear as zombies meant to haunt Ellen, who, despite the plot lines in Season One, actually was responsible for their murders...David was so simple, he had to go.

 

After all of this, there is a return to the court house where a jury has now found Michael innocent of Purcell's murder. His plea of Oedipus Complex had won the case. But he must now spend the rest of his life under house arrest with Ellen as succor, and seek medical treatment. He jumps up ecstatically and French kisses Ellen with emotion. They orgiastically are entwined, and then hold hands as they walk away. Patty rushes over -- she has now seen what they mean to each other, and screams "NO NONONONONONONNONO".

 

Then follows a 30 minute flashback where it is revealed that Patty had a THIRD child between Julia and Michael. She gave her up for adoption, to an Australian couple who promptly disappeared with her. Uncle Pete from Season One had found the documents proving that Ellen is Patty's daughter.

 

They have committed incest, which is allowable on cable but not on over-the-air.

 

Patty pulls out some guns and shoots everybody in the court house, reminiscent of Die Hard. The Director yells "CUT....That's a wrap"

 

And then the wrap party begins. There is now a blue haze everywhere, people are walking around in black, smoking and drinking, mumbling about how bad it is that Danages is now over, how terrible life is, what will I do now that Damages is gone?  How do I earn a living? We don't know these people because they are technicians behind the show, their faces are obscured. Suddenly, more light shines and we can recognize that some faces are from Season One...then Two...then Three...then Four...They are all here, parading about. Mumbling turns to laughter and hand gestures. Welcoming words are spoken. More drinks are poured. We now realize that it is indeed a wrap party.

 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Glenn Close appears, smiling, wishing everyone well, promising to do the seven hour movie that will start next month for Sony. Ted Danson re-appears, to great applause. William Hurt bounds across the sound stage.

 

Glenn Close then says, "Where's Rose? She should be here...For that matter, where is Zachary Booth?"

 

There's silence on the set...Sharp cut to black for 15 seconds. Run credits...

 

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

 

 

BREAKING NEWS: McGinty to speak on new wine policy imbroglio

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – GOSH Wine News Services has just learned that The Grate McGinty, Leader of the Province of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, will be making a major wine policy declaration later on Monday.

Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known.

Grimsby has learned that Ontario's Have-Not Leader Grate McGinty will act unilaterally in pulling the plug on his government's new wine policy after he was blindsided by his own bureaucrats and a backlash from wine consumers. McGinty will announce later today that he will not roll out the new wine policy changes next fall. It was his fastest policy retreat in recent memory, coming just hours after the Minister of Agriculture vigorously defended the policy during Question Period.

Miffed Mole said that the Leader had not been briefed on the wine policy and was unaware of its contents until the complaints began last week. Bureaucrats in the Ministry of Agriculture did not brief the Leader about the new wine policy. While he is not usually given details of wine policy changes, such a politically sensitive topic as CellaredinCanada™ should have been brought to his attention. "I think there was a little bit of failure in the system," Mole said.

Leader McGinty will announce that the policy needs a "serious rethink", and he will also say that government officials must listen to winemakers on such a sensitive topic that touches wine drinkers directly.

He will say: "For most wineries, it came out of nowhere. They are obviously not comfortable with the proposals we put forward."

The details on making CellaredinCanada™ wines are too slapdash, and will offend the sensibilities of the public. Once they learn what this wine is all about, they may never drink it again. Mention of the stretch water component has apparently been so distasteful to the focus groups that there have been complaints registered with the Ombudsman of Ontario.

The government could have calmly explained that they were just trying to ensure that drinkers had the right information before they became more involved with Ontario wine – the clearer the guidelines, the better the chances safe and healthy choices would be made. The problems occurred because there were too many unexplained products on the market.

For example, as McGinty will explain: what goes into CellaredinCanada™ wines beyond the reviled stretch water component? Is this water good enough to consume? Is it Canadian water, or is it too an imported beverage? Why do some wineries get to produce both CIC and VQA wines, while others can only produce VQA wines? Why is Freggie™ the leading (by sales) fruit-vegetable wine in Canada? Why have fruit wines fallen off the radar?

The government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, wants to move fast in these matters. They will settle with the Winery and Grower Allianz of Ontario about pending CellaredinCanada™ issues, they will ask the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario to step up the publicity on Freggie™ the fruit-vegetable wine and explain it better, and they will encourage Fruit Wines of Ontario to submit more wines for listing considerations at the LCBO.

At the same time, on another policy matter, the LCBO has raised the listing submission fee to $1,500 (plus lab costs) per label submission.

More on this impending media announcement after it happens…

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com