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Friday, July 23, 2010

Toronto mayoral candidates call for a boycott on Niagara wines.

"Niagara ads poke fun at Toronto, but city not laughing" – Globe and Mail headline, July 21, 2010


TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – In yet another stunning political decision, the six leading candidates for Mayor of Toronto have decided to call for a boycott of all Niagara Region wines.

Later on Saturday, they will announce that Torontonians should drink Ontario wines only from Prince Edward County (PEC) and Lake Erie North Shore (LENS) -- in retaliation for the urban sprawl slurs that arose from the Niagara Parks Commission's $300,000 ad campaign encouraging Toronto inhabitants to flee the city for the calmer Niagara Region.

Smirked one of the candidates: "Niagara Falls? Don't they have the slogan 'The Town Lower Than Toronto'?

"The Commission", said a parks spokesperson, "will take another look at the ads." The matter will be raised with commission managers. There is a possibility that the region may retaliate by dissing and trashing PEC and LENS wines. This would bring out all of the VQA inspectors and troops.

The mayoral candidates were also shocked to discover that the parks commission is a Clown, er, Crown Corporation of a Have-Not Province. Said one, "That says it all: puts them in the same league as the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario. No Clown, er, Crown Corporation is worth the paper that its legislative statute is printed on."

Subsequently, the GTA branch of the Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association decided to boycott writing about any Niagara wines, including CellaredinCanada™ product and Freggie™, the all-fruit, all-vegetable wine. "The power of the press will speak," said one wine hack.

More on all the dissing and trashing as this story unfolds…


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