Ontario Crown Corporations Orderd to Stop Telling the Truth

Grate McGinty Orders Crown Corporations to Stop Telling Truth Until Further Notice; Fallout from Ontario WikiLeaks Mess. As extensively borrowed from Andy Borowitz at www.borowitzreport.com.

[Dedicated to the late, great Larry Paterson aka Little Fat Wino]

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – In the first major policy fallout from the Ontario WikiLeaks disclosures, the Grate McGinty has ordered all employees of the Crown Corporations of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, to "cease and desist telling the truth until further notice."

"We are working overtime to try to make sure that leaks like these don't happen again," the Premier's Office told reporters. "But until
we've got the leaks plugged, it's incumbent on all our Crown employees to put on their lying caps."

The Office noted that since many Crown employees are major political
donors with long careers in the business world, "this shouldn't be a reach for them."

But for those career employees who came up through the ranks, the
Treasury Board will be holding a series of "truth avoidance seminars," led by executives of the Toronto media.

Additionally, the Treasury Board said, the Liberal Government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, would install on all employee computers new software called CandorShield™, which automatically translates truthful language into a less embarrassing truth-free version.

 

The Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Crown Corporation of a Have-Not Province, is exempt from the rulings because nothing ever leaks from their containers.

More on this story as untruths generates…

 

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com