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Friday, April 1, 2011

GOSH and Foxy Wine News Network team found dead.

TRAWNA – (GOSH/Foxy Wine News Network Services) – The entire GOSH Wine News Services and Foxy Wine News Network team has died after consuming a critter wine.


Early reports show Dean Tudor, Miffed Mole, and Brett Grimsby suffered from serious wounds – resembling animal and dog scratches – that covered their bodies. Their tongues and mouths, though, were untouched. The pathologist who performed the autopsies said this inconsistency is down to the fact that the three were expert wine tasters with golden SuperTaster™ palates. Obviously the critter wines were too smooth and innocuous to make dents in their taste buds.


Colleagues said these news editors and writers had recently received threatening notes, which were addressed to them and anonymously left in the broadcast studios of the Foxy Wine News Network.


Dean Tudor had just spoken an Editorial in the studio slamming the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province which had just changed its management model from an Open Mind concept to a Face Value concept.


Brett Grimsby had just turned in his video Editorial favouring the retention of water in CellaredInCanada™ wines and the subsequent dilution of FruitWines™ in Ontario.


Miffed Mole was about to speak on how we should not allow the sale of the LCBO to private hands, even though Mayor Ford Pinto seems to be going ahead with the move.


Questions: who let the dogs out? How will this impact on wine writing in Ontario? Will the freeze on false news affect outstanding lawsuits now that the three leading principals, winners of two major SPIFFY Awards, are no longer with us?


A memorial programme will be announced shortly, in conjunction with CellaredInCanada™ wine service. Stay tuned for more PR broadsides from "Harpy Government" communications and "Ford Pinto Nation" rebuttals.


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