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Thursday, December 17, 2009


TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – CLARIFICATIONS Re: Tiger Woods and "Cellared in Canada" wines.


Due to an editing error, the phrase "legal defence fund payoff" should have read "legal defence fund payout".  We did not do due diligence by cross-checking this information with our own lawyers Dewey, Fukyu, and Howe.


Because of a lack of validation, the phrase "Laid in Canada" should have read "Made in Canada".


Due to a clerical malfunction, the correct number of new wines should have read "13", and not "nine".


To clarify: the winery Tiger Woods is buying is NOT in Ontario, but rather on an island off the coast of Sweden. It is to be part of his familial settlement. His "Cellared in Canada" product is only a stopgap measure.


To further clarify: "Cheetah in the Rough" is not affiliated with Michael Jackson's "Moonwalk" Cellared in Canada wine. Both wines are represented by the Association for Cellared in Canada Wines, but both wines are separate and distinctive members.


To add: In addition to the Casinos serving "Cheetah in the Rough" Cellared in Canada wines, they will also be serving a reserve level, "Manther" (formerly, male cougars). Additionally, you can add Hooters Canada to the list of Cheetah and Manther outlets.


To correct: Fruit wines of Ontario were never, ever, not even at all to be considered by the Government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, for anything. Sadly.


GOSH Wine News Services apologizes to all of its readers and subscribers for being so careless in its examination of the Tiger Woods winery story. We need to stay home more and pay attention to our family's research. Our transgressions will follow us everywhere. We, like Tiger, need to make a choice: we should either stop golfing or stop writing.



More on these developments as they happen…



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