The staff and management of FauxVoixVinCuisine want to wish you and yours the very best for the holiday season tomorrow...
Have a really great CellaredInCanada(TM) Day!!!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Distinctly Canadian...
In the advertising insert of the LCBO promoting Canadian alcohol products (Sat. June 26, Globe, Star) for the Canada Day weekend, there is a series of "Distinctly Canadian..." wines.
One such wine is Sandhill Estate Vineyard Chardonnay VQA Okanagan, which comes from four vineyards. It is described thus: "And while the result is a blend bursting with aromas of tropical fruit, the crisp flavour is so distinctive it could only be Canadian."
Would anybody want to hazard a guess as to what constitutes a Canadian flavour?
And why it should be the same across
Obvious candidates: apple, pear, peach.
Less obvious: sour, disagreeable, apologetic, whiney, modest, unassuming, self-effacing, not American, forgiving, mosaic, appreciative.
Chimo! www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
GOSH: LCBO stores to reuse G20 fences for its wines
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TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) -- Apparently, the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, a Clown, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province, is so entranced with the surplus G20 perimeter fence and the Ontario Public Works Protection Act "five-metre" regulation that they are considering adopting both for all of its stores.
Essentially, the government agency is analyzing the success of keeping CellaredinCanada™ wines away from bona fide VQA Canadian wines. They are toying with the idea of using both the fence and the five-metre rule.
Said a spokesperson, "We can get the perimeter fence at a discount because basically it is a "used" or "pre-owned" product. It makes sense to reuse instead of recycling. It can be easily installed in every one of our stores."
The Liberal Control of Beverages in
Architectural plans have been leaked to GOSH. The fence will go up around the VQA wine area, and the five-metre rule will apply to keeping out CellaredinCanada™ wines from that area. Some sources say that Freggie™ (the fruit-vegetable table wine with no stretch water component) will not be included in this marshalling of the VQA wines, while others say that both QC fruit wines and Freggie™ will be considered "VQA" for this purpose alone.
The plans further reveal that for smaller stores, exterior walls may have to be replaced by Andy Brandt rubber walls. The job will be turned over to the specialist Black Bloc Construction Company; in common with other large Clown, er, Crown Corporations, the deal will be untendered.
Critics are already twittering. One loud comment was "How do we now buy VQA wines?" Another spokesperson for the Liberal Control of Beverages in
Canada Day celebrations continue with the wines of the FIFA World Cup Quarter Finals countries…
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
GOSH: Cellared in Canada Wines to be served at G20
TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – In a stunning display of generosity today, the Federal Government, through pressure from PM S.Harpy, will announce that Canada is supplying the G20 attendees and all of their staffs with a full supply of the best CellaredInCanada™ wines.
Said Line Bryan, the PR flack for the Association of Cellared in Canada Wines (ACCW), "It only makes sense that we distribute this wine for the conference. We have a special Cuvee, called PLANET EARTH, which meets all government regulations. The Cuvee will have 30%
Word on the street seems to indicate that there will be a white, a red and a rose. A sparkler will be poured at the opening banquet.
Not to be left out, the Canadian Cellared in Canada Wine Group (CCICWG) will be sending cases of Freggie™, the fruit-vegetable wine, to the Integrated Security Unit for their enjoyment after they leave their shifts.
Also in the mix, members of the Canadian Protestors Alliance (CPA) will be receiving gift packs of assorted QC and VQA wines from the Ontario Vinicultural Association. Each pack has a time lock to ensure that they won't be opened until Monday June 28.
There was no comment from the Liberal Control of Beverages in
More on this story as it develops…
Friday, June 18, 2010
Canada Post and HST
The HST is being applied to a new range of services, all of which are itemized on the BC and Ontario government websites. Newspapers copy these lists and present them to the public (e.g., here's what's going up in price, here's other changes, etc.).
BUT -- neither BC nor Ontario sites, nor the Canada Post site, nor the papers and magazines mention at all the fact that Canada Post rates will now be HST and going up 8% (the old PST) in Ontario.
To me, this is a huge chunk of change for Ontarians. We're already at 54 cents plus GST. Another 8% (a nickel? six cents?) will just drive more people away from the post office.
But it is NOT the money gained by Canada Post that makes me to write this note; it is the lack of information that this particular change is coming.
Not a single media outlet has commented on the post office and HST -- except the one in Medicine Hat last month (May 13) , and even that was just obliquely.
Is there a coverup of HST data that the public should know about?
Thursday, June 17, 2010
GOSH: Wine News Network to be on Cable
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TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Service) – After reports last week that the Association for CellaredinCanada™ Wines was poised to launch an all-wine 24-hours news channel aimed at Canadian wine lovers, the association said that they will "make an announcement in regard to new investment in Canadian wine media" in Toronto on Thursday morning, just before the Ontario Wine Awards luncheon and show.
GOSH's top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known.
What is known is this: the Association for CellaredinCanada™ Wines has apparently partnered with the Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association in presenting complete public access to information about CellaredinCanada™ wines. The Hacks and Flacks group will be appearing nightly as pundits on the news network, squabbling about wines in general, and about CellaredinCanada™ wines in particular.
The Association is expected to invest roughly $100-million in the project over five years. It will be headed by the leaders of the Winery and Grower Allianz of Ontario. Provision will be made for those sister companies pioneering CellaredinCanada™ delivery in
Media hires will be announced next week once their new wine Code of Ethics and Conflict-of-Interest rules are in place. They are expected to be media heavyweights in the wine world, and competition will be fierce for the positions. Disgruntled hacks and flacks who do not get full-time paid jobs will be invited to join the evening fray. The fray is expected to have a series of panels tasting and arguing about wines such as VQA, CellaredinCanada™, low-cost imports, and even Freggie™, the all-fruit and vegetable wine.
GOSH has learned, alas, that fruit wines in
GOSH has also learned that the name of the channel will be "Foxy Wine News Network", based in Concord, ON…
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Posted By Dean Tudor to FauxVoix VinCuisine at 6/16/2010 01:22:00 PM
Friday, June 11, 2010
GOSH: Fake Lake to contain stretch water component, reports say.
TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – Word has just arrived at GOSH Wine New Services that the new artificial water installation at Toronto's Direct Energy Centre (now christened Fake Lake, although purists insist on Lake Fake) will be filled from surplus stretch water components extracted from surplus CellaredinCanada™ wines.
The Association for Cellared in Canada Wines today officially announced the surplus of wine, which is normally called "
Brett Grimsby, our top investigative wine reporter, has been on the story for some time, and he files this report: the water has been rented to the G8/G20 media circus on the understanding that it will be returned intact for further use in blending. It will NOT be consumed by any of the press, and indeed sharp penalties are in place for deliberately consuming the alcohol-based water.
The Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Crown Corporation of a Have-Not Province, has gone on record as saying that in the event that any of the water is swallowed, it must be swallowed by a person 19 years of age and over (with proof of age). Said a spokesperson, "We won't penalize anybody if it is accidentally swallowed, but if they are under the age of 19, then they will go to jail, whether the incident was the result of an accident or not. We have to protect the Good People of Ontario from themselves."
Grimsby goes on to report that should there not be enough water in Fake Lake (Lake Fake), then some surplus white CellaredinCanada™ wine from the recent Winter Olympics will be added to top fill the volume. Sources say that the LCBO is unhappy about this move, but they defer to the Federal Government which has so kindly allowed them to raise the price of wines, beers and spirits in
The makers of Freggie™, the fruit-vegetable wine made with no stretch water component has lodged a protest. This has been handled by the Integrated Security Unit in their usual fashion.
Taking a political beating for spending millions on a fake lake, S.Harpy's office insisted it was more, and worth every penny. The project, PMO officials said, will send 3,000 journalists home with a better impression of CellaredinCanada™ wines.
More on this story as it develops…
Thursday, June 10, 2010
LCBO Monopoly and Wine Writing in Ontario
Which prominent wine writer (who writes extensively about Ontario wines) has been noticeably absent in the Ontario tasting note sections used by the Vintages catalogues since the publication of the following article? Is there a connection?
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Massive Spy Operation Uncovered, CellaredinCanada(TM) wines involved.
REAL: NEWS: The detailed research and investigations carried out by
Canada-based authors of the report 'Shadows in the Cloud' have pointed to a
spy network command and control system that used free web-hosting services
and social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, and Google. These
accounts were manipulated by a "core" of servers based in Chengdu in China.
Canada-based authors of the report 'Shadows in the Cloud' have pointed to a
spy network command and control system that used free web-hosting services
and social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, and Google. These
accounts were manipulated by a "core" of servers based in Chengdu in China.
TRAWNA - (GOSH Wine News Services) - GOSH Wine News Services has just
learned that there is a spy operation within closely guarded Canadian wine
computer servers.
Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story
for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with
Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the
situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were
not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre
of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been
finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not
have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may
or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific
timeline is not really known.
Grimsby has uncovered the existence of a "Shadow Network". Canadian
researchers have found a vast online espionage based in China that used
email and Twitter to extract highly sensitive wine information from Canadian
computers.
Stolen documents recovered in a year-long investigation show the hackers
have breached the servers of dozens of computer wine networks, taking
everything
from top-secret files on wine recipes with and without a stretch water
component to confidential inventory sorting, including shrinkage from winery
to warehouse, and warehouse to store.
Grimsby's findings have exposed one of the biggest online spy rings ever
cracked.
Apparently, the network of botnets are being controlled remotely and made to
report to China.
Allegedly, the Chinese government is preparing a master formula for new
CellaredinCanada(TM) wines to take over from the front-leading and
best-selling
Freggie(TM) (the popular fruit-vegetable wine).
But Grimsby speculates: "Why anybody would want to expend time and energy on
such a lost cause as CellaredinCanada(TM) is beyond me.There's an enormous
wine
lake out there, with wines selling at under 20 cents a litre on the re-sale
market. Unless the Chinese government has something else up its sleeve.Maybe
they want to re-do Icewine? Maybe take over VQA? Maybe have Chinese
restaurants sell only CellaredinCanada(TM) wines? Maybe they want to do
their own wines!"
For the moment, the Association for Cellared in Canada Wines has refused to
comment, as did the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er,
Crown Corporation in A Have-Not Province.
As Grimsby has noted, "We'll just have to wait and see how it all plays
out."
Chimo! www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com
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