BREAKING NEWS: This hyar jest in, as enny fool kin plainly see... Freggie(TM) has announced thet it will be sellin' a special cuvee jest in time fo' th' Rosh Hashanah period, cuss it all t' tarnation. GOSH Likker Noos Services has cornfirmed thet one of th' two blends t'be made available will be 70% Conco'd grapes wif 30% Jersusalem artichokes (an', of course, due t'VQA legislashun, it is not eligible fo' th' "Made in Ontario, A Have-Not Province" designashun - thet w'dn't be kosher). Howevah, th' makers of Freggie(TM) annicipate greater sales of t'other blend, 70% Jersusalem artichokes wif 30% Conco'd grapes on account o' it is eligible t'state on th' label, "100% Ontario, A Have-Not Province, vegitable an' fruit a six packs". Neifer blend will include th' dreaded an' secretive stretch water component. This hyar launch is specked t'be at th' Bell Lightbox next Thursday, in time fo' th' TIF(TMF's Midnight Madness event...
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