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Friday, April 17, 2009

GOSH: Vincor fuels Olympic Torch with alcohol from distilled CIC wine

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – In a brilliant public relations move, the Vincor Jackson-Triggs Esprit ("Wine of the Canadian Winter Olympics 2010") Cellared in Canada (CIC) wine has moved on. The original CIC wine has been replaced by VQA wine, more fitting for the Canadian people since it is a wine actually made in Canada.


As a reaction to the media outcry, the Esprit CIC wine label and positioning has become an Esprit VQA wine. But there still remains the vast sea of Esprit CIC which, of course, will not be for sale.


Top wine investigative reporter Brett Grimsby has been on the scene for weeks now, and he files this story based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known.


GOSH Wine News Services has learned that Vincor will be reducing Esprit CIC to ethyl alcohol and, in a move sure to please all Olympians everywhere, using this as fuel for the Olympic Torch. The old burn time was 12 to 15 minutes, but by replacing the hydrocarbon blend of propane and isobutene, the new burn time has been increased to over 30 minutes.


Bombardier, the torch designer, drew inspiration from Canada's vast open storage of CIC wines. The smooth, fluid lines of the wines will be perpetuated in the torch, and CIC wines will thus visit places all over Canada via the Olympic Torch. It is guaranteed to never blow out. The tank is pressurized by nitrogen to 150 psi to keep a constant flow going – whatever the temperature is outside the casing.


And if the torch bearer should get tired, he or she (must be over 19) can easily quaff a dram or two from the "escape hatch".


A Vincor representative said: "This is a win-win situation. The Good People of Canada get to consume copious quantities of great VQA wine, we get to get rid of useless CIC product, and we donate fuel to the Olympic Torch. This is considered to be part of our vinous contribution to the Winter Olympics. In fact, our accountants are busy figuring out the burn rate of our contribution of $1.25 a wine bottle vis-à-vis ethyl alcohol from the scrubbed wines."


More on this story, including the effects on Vincor's carbon footprint, as it develops...stay tuned.



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