GOSH: Ontario Wine Council to merge with Ontario Vinous Associates.

REAL NEWS: "It's in the interest of all Conservatives – Progressive Conservatives and the latter-day group – to come together in support of common principles," Mr. Mulroney said in an interview – Globe and Mail, Aug 27, 2009.

 

 

FAUX VOIX GOSH NEWS:

 

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Service) – In a dramatic attempt to save the failing Ontario wine economy, GOSH Wine News Service has learned that the Ontario Wine Council and the Ontario Vinous Associates groups have come together in support of common principles.

 

Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for weeks now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known.

 

While the Ontario Wine Council negotiates with the Ontario Grape Producers to come up with the best possible settlement of grape prices, the OVA prefers to be known as a latter-day group, a collection of revolutionaries determined to break into the Ontario wine market by specializing in non-grape wines, such as apple, pear, black currant, even Freggie™, the recently launched fruit-vegetable "Cellared in Canada" combo.

 

"We simply have to put aside our differences: more people are drinking spirits and beers," says Jim Warren, who currently runs the Ontario Vinous Associates and who is the man most likely to be in charge of any restructured OWC. "We have to create a buzz about wine, whether from grapes or any other fruit-veggie source. We should stop sniping at each other – there is plenty of room for all of us, even the Cellared in Canada program, which will soon be 51% Ontario fruit and proudly labelled on the container in 16 point type."

 

Earlier, the Ontario Vinous Associates had issued a statement expressing embarrassment that VANOC 2010 losses would be covered by the IOC, the first time this has happened in IOC history. "The shame of it, that Canadians could not drink more Cellared in Canada product which donated $1.25 from each bottle to the Canadian Olympics. We need to get with the program and consume, consume, consume. If more non-grape wines were allowed into the Olympic program, we could have put VANOC 2010 over the top."

 

When asked to comment, the VQA (the Very Quaffable Alcohol group), replied: "NMP and DEGT".

 

More on this merger as it happens…

 

Chimo!  www.deantudor.com