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Friday, August 6, 2010

GOSH: LCBO poised to untax wine sales

NEWS HEADLINE – Stockwell Day cites "alarming" rise in unreported crime in order to justify new prisons.  -- Aug 4, 2010




TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services)  -- In a stunning announcement just made by the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Crown Corporation of a Have-Not Province, the provincial government is poised to untax wine sales in order to justify bolstering the flagging economy.


Apparently, all CellaredinCanada™ wines (including Freggie™ the all-fruit all-vegetable wine) will now be available as UnCellaredinCanada™ wines, and eligible for certain untaxed write-offs. The VQA component wines now move over to the UnVQA area – in order for bona fide Ontario wines to get a similar deal. But many LCBO stores already have UnCellaredinCanada™ wines blended in with UnVQA wines on the shelves, so there is nothing unnew here. In the mix are unfruit wines which may appear to be similar in style to grape wines, unless, of course, they are labelled ungrape wines using the UnQC seal.


Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this unstory for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really unknown.

When asked to comment, a spokesperson for the LCBO declined. "It would be unwise of me."

Previous to this week, the use of the phrase "un" was restricted only to Untario as an unplace to stand. Now, it seems to have grabbed an untax advantage. Unreported grapevines may justify new wineries (but not unwineries), but only if they are untaxed by the UnClown, er, UnCrown Corporation of an UnHave-Not Province.

Unionville is 10 kilometres north of Toronto. More on this unstory as it unfolds…



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