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Friday, April 4, 2008

LCBO and Constellation Brands Shocker

Breaking news in the wine world...

In a move which took everyone by surprise,
Constellation Brands Inc. has made a bid to take over the LCBO from the
Government. Sources say that the offer was between 4 and 6 billion US
The leveraged buyout, supported by the International Tetra Pak Consortium,
apparently solve the problem of what to do with the former Vincor wine
Richard Sands, CEO of Constellation, said, "It was either those stores go or
LCBO stores go. So we decided to merge the two". Toronto's Mayor David
recognizing that the GTA is home to most of Ontario's drinkers, demanded
the Ontario Liberal Government turn over a portion of the sale for the
use in the construction of an incinerator to burn off used tetra paks. He
"We could create a lot of electric power this way, even adding juice boxes
the mix. It is certainly not acceptable that the Ontario government take
out of Toronto".

The Liberal Government, responding to questions from the media, has said
that a
portion of the sale would go to help the "Cellared in Canada" program by
subsidizing the delivery of concord grapes. The recent closing of the
plant in Ontario has freed up an enormous quantity of grapes formerly meant
jams and juices. They can now be used as a replacement for off-shore wine

On a related matter, the first container-shipment of sparkling wine in tetra
paks arrived yesterday at the LCBO Durham Warehouse. Unfortunately, the
heated overnight and blew up, taking out the rest of the Vintages releases
2007. As a replacement for the Vintages catalogue, sources say that the LCBO
will be releasing some wines from its rich hoard of pre-phylloxera French
Bordeaux which were recently re-discovered when a computer software glitch

For more news as it happens, check www.deantudor.com


CORRECTION to previous breaking news on sale of the LCBO --

Due to an error in editorial data transmission, the LCBO has NOT been
purchased by Constellation Brands Inc. Instead, the LCBO has BOUGHT
Constellation Brands Inc. Also, the dollar figure is NOT 4 to 6 billion
dollars, but rather 46 billion dollars.

Mayor David Miller did NOT ask for a portion of the sale price since
there was no sale of the LCBO. Rather, he had asked for one cent of the
bottle return money, as part of his "one cent" campaign.

Later on in the story, the mention of "pre-phylloxera French Bordeaux"
should have read "POST-phylloxera French Bordeaux".

Gothic Epicures regrets the errors. For all wine news updates, please check
Wine News section of www.deantudor.com



Constellation Brands did not buy the LCBO. The LCBO did not buy
Constellation Brands. The Ontario Government has now announced that
both companies have merged in a private-public co-ownership, and the
dollar figure of 46 billion was a mistake. The "4 to 6 billion US
dollars" mentioned in the story now refers to administrative savings.
Constellation Brands will have preference on LTOs, shelf-talkers, end-
of-aisle displays, samplings, Food & Drink magazine placement, etc.

The reference to "pre-phylloxera" is still correct (no longer "post-
phylloxera"), except that the region referred to is now "Chilean red
table wines", as in "pre-phylloxera Chilean red table wines".

Mayor David Miller now says that there are more drinkers in the non-
Toronto section of the GTA.

Gothic Epicures reports clarifications as they happen...For all wine
news updates, please check the Wine News section of www.deantudor.com.



The merger of the LCBO and Constellation Brands means that all LCBO
stores and all former Vincor stores will now carry ONLY Constellation
Brands products. Confirmed sources say that both the LCBO Queens Quay
store and the Scrivener Square store will be administered and managed
by Churchill Cellars.

The Ontario Government has denied the municipality of Concord, Ontario,
the right to change its name to Merlot, Ontario.

The "Cellared in Canada" program now becomes known as the "Cellared by
Constellation Brands" program.

The container-shipment of sparkling wine in tetra paks was originally
supposed to have been packed in pressurized cans, but the wine was sent
to the wrong plant in Italy. Sources confirm that Italian managers,
when learning of the explosion in the Durham warehouse, said "Told you"...

The Vintages program, which had been nailed by the explosion, has been
cancelled for the balance of the year. Sources say that it has been
replaced by the Classics Catalogue and the In-Store Discovery program.
Each Vintage Boutique or Vintage Store in Ontario will receive only one
bottle for each CSPC number. There will never be any in-store

These clarifications have been brought to you by World Wine Watch
Online, the newsletter of Gothic Epicures. For more wine news, check
out the Wine News section at www.deantudor.com.

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