$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ALL THE RUMOURS, MYTHS, & WEIRD WINE $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ AND FOOD STORIES YOU CAN HANDLE.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$SS "NO MATTER HOW CYNICAL I GET, I CAN NEVER KEEP UP" (Lily Tomlin)

******************************* WINNER OF THREE MAJOR SPIFFY AWARDS FOR WINE SATIRE !!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Foxy Wine News Network shut out at recent Emmys & Geminis

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network is bitterly disappointed that it did not win any Emmy or Gemini Awards this season.


When reminded that the Network is relatively new with no product before the closing date, the CEO said: "That shouldn't matter. We put our hearts and souls into our work. We worked really hard and we deserved the Awards based on the work that we did. After all, don't school kids get marks for just working hard, no matter whether they are right or wrong?"


He went on, "We broke many stories…on the new red-light district in Toronto for drinking, the fact that Canadian blended wines were going to drop terroir, the WikiLeaks booze material release, the fabrication of the VQA system in 1992, and the concept of SomewhereElse wines."


"Plus, of course, the development of the LCBO buying and selling wines only in Euros. What more could the Emmy Academy of Television Arts want?"


When reminded that programs must be NOMINATED first before they can get an Award, the CEO said, "Oh, right. Maybe next year."


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Wine Dirty Talk?

Source: floating around the Internet off and on for years, with updates.
For wine writers, it is NOT dirty talk to say --
1. "Spit or swallow?"

2. "Stick your nose all the way in"

3. "She's needs to open up a bit"

4. "I've had a '69 with my sister"

5. "My God! Check out the legs on that Blue Nun!"

6. "I keep Sherry on the rack in my cellar"

7. "I find the Italians flacid and the French hard"

8. "There are too many whites in this room"

9. "He needs to practice the swirl"

10. "She caught me sneaking Helen Turley into the house"

11. "We're going to be doing it vertically"

12. "You have to pull it out slowly, otherwise it'll shoot all over the place!"

13. "Have you tasted Mike Weir?"

14. "I'm smelling leather right now"

15. "Me and the guys did a 10 year old Tawny, it was sweet"

16. "Mind if I check out your screwpull?"

17. "Ladies, any of you enjoying my Beaune?"

18. "Wow that really swelled up, can you stick it back in?"

19. "Let it glide across your tongue"

20. "I'm sorry Madame but your Pouilly-Fuisse is awfully dry"