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******************************* WINNER OF THREE MAJOR SPIFFY AWARDS FOR WINE SATIRE !!

Friday, June 13, 2008

TOP TWENTY CLASSIC WINE LIES (sourced through the Internet)

TOP TWENTY CLASSIC WINE LIES
-------------------------------------------------

From the grower, "All our slopes face south"
"Our harvest is in the hands of the gods"
"We're rediscovering local grape varieties"
"We buy all our barrels from first-growths"


From the winery, "Our wines are like children -- some take longer than
others to develop"
"It is the best vintage this decade"
"Our winmaker thinks this wine is really interesting"
"I am an artist. I paint with colours when I make my
wine"
"Chaptalize? Never!"
"We picked before the rain, unlike our neighbours"
"All the wine is stored in oak barrels. We never use
oak chips"


From the merchant, "Buy this wine. It's expensive but it won't give you a
hangover"
"This wine was made to go with food"
"There is no such thing as a bad vintage
nowadays"


From the sommelier, "A gentleman of your standing would require a wine of
quality"
"Fine food requires fine wine,
regardless of the price"
"The mustiness, as you prefer to call
it, is a hallmark of great Bordeaux"

From the consumer, "I don't know much about wine but I do know what I like"
"I'm not a wine snob, I've just got
expensive tastes"

From the wine critic, "I always spit when tasting".....


Chimo!
www.deantudor.com

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