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Saturday, January 17, 2009

GOSH: Vincor Comes to the Rescue of the City of Vanoc

Vincor Comes to the Rescue of the City of Vanoc

VANOC – (GOSH Wine News Services) – In a stunning announcement to be made shortly at a hurriedly convened press conference, the City of Vanoc appears to have a solution to its Owe-lympic shortfalls and shortcomings. The City of Vanoc has entered discussions that would see it borrow an estimated $800-million to consolidate funding around the problematic Owe-lympic athletes village.

Top wine investigative reporter Brett Grimsby has been on the scene for weeks now, and he files this story based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been announced to the public --

Vincor, A Constellation Company, has decided to increase its donation to the City of Vanoc for the 2010 Owe-lympics.

In addition to the proceeds from its Esprit CIC/POC wine sales, Vincor, A Constellation Company, has taken on the distribution of China Red tetra pak wines to be delivered to Dollerama stores across the nation. In the meantime, Vincor, A Constellation Company, has been developing a white wine counterpart with the co-operation of the Ontario Viniculture Association, presumably comprising unsold wines remaining from Farmers' Market sales. It is to be known as Sheet White.

The partial proceeds from the sales of both of these wines will help pay down the Owe-lympic village debt, so that the good people of Canada, A Have Country, will not be on the hook for added expenditures. The venture has the blessings of the Ontario, A Have-Not Province, government.

The press conference will kick off with a baked goods sale in aid of the relief of the City of Vanoc and the athletes village, soon to be downgraded to athletes hamlet.

More on this story as it unfolds on the Left Coast

Chimo! www.deantudor.com

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