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Saturday, June 11, 2011

GOSH: Canadian blended wines to drop terroir

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network has just learned that the Canadian Blended Wines Association (CBWA), an alliance of wineries dedicated to the production of 100% Canadian-blended wines, will announce its new blending philosophy at a press conference called for this afternoon.


On the table are a variety of wines that once had the name of Meritage or Conundrum, or simply Big Red or White or some other fantasy name. These wines are expected to be re-branded by the consortium, with an emphasis on a complete lack of terroir. The idea is to produce red and white wines from 100% Canadian grapes that will show no influence of microclimates, soils, winemaking techniques, oaking, etc. – nothing whatsoever.


"We will defy anybody learning where these wines are from. We will name the grape varieties, according to law, but not the percentages used. We will name the vintage but not the location," said a spokesperson. Apparently, some of the wines used may also be from out-of-province, reminiscent of the old Unity label from Vincor, A Constellation Company.


"We strongly believe in the future, and the future suggests that wines will sell better if they have no terroir. Besides, it is easier to get them across the border without the word terroir on them," continued the spokesperson.


Of particular value to the CBWA is the fact that many of these wines can be vended to tasting competitions run by the Master Sommeliers or Masters of Wines.


"They'll be hard to guess at, and could prove to be a tiebreaker of a wine in the taste game. Could anybody name these grapes and location? We think not."


All wines will be sold at the Liberal Control of Beverages for Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of a Have-Not Province led (for the moment) by The Grate McGinty.


More on this story as it develops…



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