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Sunday, December 18, 2011

Robert M. Parker Jr. to retire to Farewell Tour

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network, leader to just under 4,000 devoted watchers each weeknight, has just learned that Robert M. Parker, Jr., plans to leave the safety of his Monkton, Maryland, estate for an extensive bout of travel around the world, a sort of Farewell Tour.


Parker issued this statement: "Now that I'd got a stable of writers polishing wine notes for The Wine Advocate, plus control over my books, I can coast and do what I've always wanted to do – attend wine trade shows, go to fantastic media dinners, travel on familiarization media tours, get paid to write complimentary wine reviews, and other assorted benefits."


Parker noted that he will be 65 in 2012, and will just love his retirement. "My health is fabulous," he said, "I've never been better."


Then he unleashed a bombshell: "2012 is also the Thirtieth Anniversary of the fabulous 1982 Bordeaux vintage, the one I put on the map and thus have slain all the other wine critics. I can now reveal that it was deliberate. It was because of my extra-terrestrial superpowers"


"So, in 2012, after the Tour, I'll bid Earth a final farewell. I will embark on a long voyage back to my planet of origin. By that time, my work here will be done. You know, it is ironic that I'm an alien, but I have been on Earth legally all this time – just check with my accountant. No fences for me."


More on this astounding tale as the Farewell Tour proceeds…


Chimo!  www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

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