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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Great Writers on Wine (by Tim Fish)

{From Tim Fish, at winetoday.com}

What if great writers described wines, instead of the usual wine writer or blogger?
Someone like --

Ernest Hemingway -- "It is a wine. A good wine, not a great one. It is red.
Wet. Its power is obvious, obvious and powerful the way men are, men who hunt and
get into bar fights. Real men. Except for the smell. The wine smells better
than the men."

Woody Allen -- "It's n-n-n-n-ot like I'm the kind of person who drinks
Chianti, usually, I mean, I eat pasta and I swell up like a tick on an artery. And
garlic, don't even get me started. Yet I like this tart little red in a half-hearted
Jungian sort of way. I think back to those blind tastings with the Rabinsky Twins, Doris
and Phoebe. I get lightheaded just thinking about it. I still have one of their
black leather blindfolds."

Raymond  Chandler -- "I've swilled better gasoline. That at least was at
gunpoint. I should stick with Scotch but I have a thing for blondes, blondes
like this Chardonnay. I thought it was classy, it had legs tall and sleek as
the Chrysler Building. But it turned out to be trouble, like most blondes, a lot
of flashy oak and cheap perfume. You'd think I'd learn my lesson."

William Faulkner -- "A wine that calls to mind those languorous Southern
summers when the days were oppressively warm and furious and impotent and
you wandered the hills around Jacksonboro with your third cousin
twice-removed on your mother's side, Finnegan  Russell (the elder, not his son
who everyone called Buck) and his half-witted dog."

Shakespeare -- "O nectar, a poetry profound, a liquid fair and hedonistic,
                            a drink meant truly not for mortals but the gods of misty yore.
                            Burdened not by filtering or fining or such slings and arrows
                             beset by fools. Get thee to a bottle."

Dr. Seuss --  "One wine.
                       Red wine.
                       This wine.
                       Bad wine."


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