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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

GOSH: Michael Jackson still alive, invests in Cellared in Canada wines, LCBO to test.

SUDBURY – (GOSH Wine New Services) – In the midst of all the chaos over the death of Michael Jackson (and this includes wills, estates, memorial services, and excessive public grieving), GOSH Wine News Services has learned that it has been all a HOAX.


Jackson is alive and well, and living in Sudbury, Ontario, where he can most comfortably do the Moonwalk. "A northern cooler climate agrees with me, and so should the wines," he said.


Supporting him in his quest for peace and quiet is Farrah Fawcett, who earlier preceded him to the Nirvana described as Sudbury.


Soon to join them both is Darth Grabinsky, convicted of fraud in looting LiveEnt. He will be sentenced to serve several years in the Sudbury area, according to our sources.


Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his story based on several interviews with sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known.


All three are getting together to sink millions in the creation of new Cellared in Canada products. Jackson will have his "Moonwalk" label, while Fawcett will concentrate on "Charlie's Winesluts". Darth will bring his marketing expertise to the enterprise and is slated to be the new CRO (Chief Restructuring Officer) as part of his community service. The LCBO will, of course, test the products before they go on sale.


Star-struck creditors are sure to line up to sample the new wines provided by both the Association for Cellared in Canada Wines (ACCW) and the Cellared in Canada Wine Association (CICWA). But they will have to wait until the thousands of wine bloggers have had their way and say.


Unfortunately, the two major CIC wine associations are fighting to represent the lucrative wine contracts. The Association for Cellared in Canada Wines (ACCW) is disputing the legality of the Cellared in Canada Wine Association (CICWA). ACCW claims an exclusive charter for foreign representation, while CICWA claims to represent the rights of foreign offshore products through the DOP program. This matter has been before the courts for years, and may never be resolved in out lifetime.


It is believed that if these Cellared in Canada wines take off from their location in Sudbury with successful sales, then VQA wines may not be far behind. GOSH has heard unsubstantiated rumours that Jackson is interested in fruit wineries, who would appear to be gung-ho for a new deal in Ontario.


More on this story as it unravels…



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