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Monday, August 10, 2009

BAG - BOTTLE Trade Exchange to open in Toronto.

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – GOSH has just learned that the "ladies who lunch" in Rosedale and Forest Hill have banded together for a BAG-BOTTLE exchange.


As their recessionary money runs out, the matrons need to do something: can they pull their kids out of private institutions? Can they pawn their furnishings? Stop buying at McEwan's? Fire the staff? Cut back on gardening? Renege on club memberships? Default on the mortgaged cottage?


No, but they can do something that will make them pin money and make the city clean at the same time. Their operation will be open to all of the residents of Trawna.


The whole thing began when the so-called "Bag" Ladies of Rosedale merged with the so-called "Bottle" Blonds of Forest Hill to form a profitable alliance. The Bottle Blonds were fed up with having to slink into a beer store to return their wine bottle empties for a 20 cent deposit. "It's so demeaning," said one blond. On the other hand, the Bag Ladies, not bothered by the clientele in beer stores, were embarrassed to have to pay a nickel for plastic bags to be reused for garbage. "It's so demeaning", said one bag lady.


So an exchange began between the two groups.


And now, Trawna residents will be able to help out the ladies who lunch by trading value for value: four clean plastic bags for one clean empty wine bottle, or vice versa.


This brilliant conception of an exchange should reward the ladies who lunch as they can spend more of their time on profit-making projects.


Sources say that the Moore Park and Lawrence Park ladies are furious, and are considering opening their own trading posts. Word on the street is that the Old Mill ladies have set up an uber-exchange for after-hours trading between the Park ladies and the Hill and 'Dale ladies.


The exchanges are open to all consumers in the City of Toronto with proof of residency. Locations are being firmed up, to be staffed by the ladies who lunch. Consequently, these businesses will only be open from 10 AM to 11, and 4 PM to 6.


More on this story as the locations emerge…



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