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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

BREAKING NEWS: Ontario quickly declares Prorogue Festivals, GOSH Wine News Services forced back to action early...



TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – In yet another stunning political development by the Liberal Government of Ontario (A Have-Not Province), the Grate McGinty, pseudo-premier of the province, has suddenly decided to emulate his fan base, the Conservative Party of Canada.


McGinty has immediately declared a new "sport" in Ontario: a province-wide "Prorogue" festival, which will continue until after the Winter Olympics in Vancouver-Whistler are over. In some parts of Ontario (A Have-Not Province), this festival may also be locally known as pierogi, perogi, perogy, pirohi, piroghi, pirogi, pirogen, pierogy, pirohy, or pyrohy.


Brett Grimsby files this report from the Legislative Assembly:


"According to my breaking news sources, the new annual Winter Prorogue Festival will embrace a variety of food dumplings coupled with a variety of Cellared in Canada wines. Foremost, of course, is Freggie™ the 70/30 fruit and vegetable wine mixture that is all the rage north of Bloor Street in Toronto. Freggie™ has the blessing of Fruit Wines of Ontario. Its leading competitor is VeggieFru™, the 70/30 vegetable and fruit wine blend that appears to be taking over south of Bloor Street in Toronto. Either wine appears to be fine with fruit (such as plum) or veggie-inspired (such as cabbage or potato) Prorogues.


"But for that meat dumpling, nothing beats a solid Cellared in Canada red wine manufactured from syrah/shiraz grapes and stretch water. Poultry would suggest a merlot Cellared in Canada wine with its advanced complexity. Cheese Prorogues may best be served with Cellared in Canada white wines, although purists encourage staying away from Cellared in Canada white wines. Allegedly, recent tastings show that too much stretch water has been added. Indeed, tests are now being conducted by the Quality Labs at the LCBO to determine just how much water has been added, and where that water is from. We expect that soon the matter will be in front of the courts, according to Miffed Mole."


More on this story as it dissolves…



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