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Thursday, February 11, 2010

GOSH: Liberal government encourages wine tastings on TTC.

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – Today, the Liberal Government of Ontario (A Have-Not Province) suddenly announced that the Toronto Transit Commission will be conducting wine tastings, over the strenuous objections of the Liberal Control of Beverages of Ontario (LCBO), A Clown, er, Crown Corporation.


Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known.


This is what's supposed to go down as soon as possible: In an attempt to satisfy commuter rider demand for quality service at the TTC * AND * to satisfy an industry demand for recognition after decades of being shut out, the Ontario Government will allow sampling of wines from Fruit Wines of Ontario to TTC patrons who are lined up at custodial-collector booths.


The idea is to soften the impacts of fare increases, line-ups and sorry service by having representatives of the Fruit Wines of Ontario provide one or two free samples of fruit wine for enjoyment. Adults will get two samples, to match the fare increase value, while Seniors (who must prove that they are over 19 – and look it) get only one sample, since their increase is only 15 cents a ticket. TTC employees and their relatives are ineligible for these tastings.


Said a spokesperson for the Government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province: "This will throw a bone to both disenfranchised groups (riders and wineries) – as we head into an election in Ontario. Both the public transit riders and the fruit wineries should profit from this exposure. At the same time, our LCBO should loosen up a bit, and bounce around those rubber walls they claim to have."


For political expediency, this service is only being offered at TTC subway stops. There will be portable potties available (a concession to the LCBO) and ID carding will be in place, as requested by LCBO inspectors who will do the enforcement on a bill-back basis to the TTC.


More on this dramatic story as soon as the Giambrone bone story is done with in the press and we all move on…




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