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Saturday, May 8, 2010

GOSH: Supreme Court May Force GOSH to reveal its wine sources.

REAL BREAKING NEWS -- In an 8-1 ruling May 7, the Supreme Court of Canada
said that in an age of blogging, twittering, and long-range microphones, the
media are too amorphous to enjoy a right to protect confidential sources,
and too ungovernable to exercise it properly. No journalist can give a
source total assurance of confidentiality.


TRAWNA, MAY 8 - (GOSH Wine News Services) - Two days after GOSH launched
its IPO, raising $10,500.43, the prestigious wine news gathering service was
hit with the market-sagging possibility of having to divulge the names of
its sources in the industry.

"This Supreme Court ruling could be potentially and fiscally disastrous for
us," said Brett Grimsby, GOSH's top wine investigative reporter. "We live
and die by our informants. They are our prime source of information about
companies from within, and our prime source of gossip about companies from

Dean Tudor, CEO GOSH, added: "Where would we be? We'd never to be able to
make statements such as filing reports based on several interviews with
Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the
situation, and who spoke to me on condition of anonymity because they were
not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre
of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been
finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not
have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may
or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific
timeline is not really known."

GOSH has gone to a lot of trouble to seek and isolate a collection of
troublemakers, whistleblowers, disgruntled former employees, and put-upon
retirees, to come up with the collective Miffed Mole "source". But GOSH may
not be able to protect those sources any longer.

"Of course we can comply with the Court ruling," said an uptight Grimsby.
"Our source is Miffed Mole, and we can name him: Miffed Mole. What more do
they want?"

CEO Tudor went on, "Our sources are the top prime weasels in the business:
there are no baser people than these grudge-minded ratters. We take pride in
having such sources inside every single element of the Ontario wine

"The Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Crown Corporation
of a Have-Not Province? We're there! We're in Human Resources, we're in
Accounting, we're in Quality Lab, we're in Product Consultants, we ARE
everywhere - even in the Durham Warehouse!!

"Fruit Wines of Ontario? We're there. The Alcohol and Gaming Commission of
Ontario, A Have-Not Province? We're there. Vintners Quality Alliance? Wine
Council of Ontario? Winery and Grower Alliance of Ontario? Wine Writers'
Circle of Canada? We're there, and there, and there.

"Our sources extend to Little Fat Wino, Ontario Winery Review, Ontario
Greenbelt Alliance, the Wine Rack stores, the Vineyards Stores, the
CellaredinCanadaT and FreggieT programs, we're everywhere.

"In fact, more than half the people working for Vincor, A Constellation
Company, are our sources.

"OK? So we've named them. Miffed Mole works everywhere. . .He is the
greatest source of wine disinformation that ever existed. If he ever had an
IPO, he's make ten times what we made."

GOSH CEO Tudor went on, "I can see this real concern that sources may begin
to dry up for fear of being named, and that journalists may feel compelled
to destroy material that could expose these contacts of ours. But if so, we
can move ahead. We have one weapon at our disposal: fabrication. We'll just
make up everything. But we'd rather not. We'd rather be truthful about wine.
In vino veritas."

More on this stunning new development as it evolves.

Chimo! www.deantudor.com AND http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com

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