$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ALL THE RUMOURS, MYTHS, & WEIRD WINE $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ AND FOOD STORIES YOU CAN HANDLE.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$SS "NO MATTER HOW CYNICAL I GET, I CAN NEVER KEEP UP" (Lily Tomlin)

******************************* WINNER OF THREE MAJOR SPIFFY AWARDS FOR WINE SATIRE !!

Friday, September 3, 2010

TIF™F is coming to town!! Media invite for Sept 9, 2010, 6 PM Bell Lightbox

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – Hey, TIF™F is coming to town!!


That's right, the Toronto International Freggie™ Festival is set to begin action next week.


For those who don't know, Freggie™ is the world's largest selling fruit-vegetable blended wine, just about as big as CellaredInCanada™ grape wines.


Freggie™ was developed as an alternative to the international blends. It was deemed commercially viable by Agriculture Canada and is currently sponsored by the government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province -- it uses up Ontario surplus fruit wines and vegetable wines.


Freggie™ comes in three blends: 70% fruit wine with 30% vegetable wine added, or 70% vegetable wine with 30% fruit wine added, and (new this season): a top-rated 50-50 blend for those who cannot decide on a fave.


The art of blending is a deep secret, so the Freggie™ people will not reveal which fruits and which vegetables are used, except to say that there are different ones in all three cuvees. In no way shape or form is there any of that nasty stretch water component that you'll find in the CellaredInCanada™ international blend series. It's guaranteed chlorine-free. And, all their wines are triple-filtered to remove any hints of bedbugs and their eggs.


Professionally-paid tasters have commented on these wines. One said "Throws out spruce, some attractive mint, forward onion tones." Another said, "Dainty kalamata olives, shows opium, hoppy Doritos, and traces of smoked oysters." A third beckoned with: "Drops taco sauce, buttermilk pancakes, and forward pungent green beans." Another opinion, but from a dissenter, went: "Grossly overweight veggies and unripe fruit, kicks you with tobacco." We believe in balanced reports and chacun a son gout.


Our fave review, from the Wine Journal, goes: "Plump frosted pop-tart, modest and spiney, whispers of spice, overcooked currants, strong-willed black cherries, astounding marmalade complexity bound with a carrot-beet-turnip combo. 88 points."


In conjunction with the Toronto International Freggie™ Festival, the major suppliers are planning to launch the 50-50 blend (called Freggie™ 50-50) to the media and elite stars. The official release date is September 9, the opening day of TIF™F. Expected to attend the eleven day festival are Stony Cement, S. "Doris" Day, PM Sharpy, The Grate McGinty, Ford Pinto, Joey Pants, and other clowns from politics. From the reality world of entertainment, you can expect Clint Eastwood, Natalie Portman, Catherine Deneuve, and Bruce Springsteen.


All the entertainers will endorse Freggie™ under the launch tent, for which they will collect a swag bag that contains coupons entitling them to a six-pack of Freggie™ a week for life!


They want you to join them for sampling at the Bell Lightbox, Thursday, September 9, at 6 PM sharp, one hour earlier for the trade/media presentation.


Consider this YOUR personal invitation – be there or be square! And celebrate the new Freggie™ 50-50!!



No comments: