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Sunday, October 30, 2011

Validation of LCBO key to a successful future?


TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – Foxy Wine News Network, in conjunction with GOSH Wine News Services, has just learned that the LCBO, also known as the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty, is treating the recent re-election of Grate McGinty as the validation of its existence.


Sources close to the LCBO and to McGinty have been saying that the Corporation (formerly known as "the Board") is now going to start taking a stronger presence and employ press muscle in its search for more money to "give" to the province.


One of the first things it will do is lean on those wine critics who diss the Corporation's selection of wines and rate its wine inventories below 88. The Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association is shocked and appalled at this turn of events.


Said our source: "Every one of our wines is a winner. If it were not so, I would have told you. We have many rooms in our selling areas where we prepare fine wines for the masses. Why bother to speculate with a silly point system?"


The Corporation would continue to acknowledge single bottle faults and the like in wines, but in general, they are prepared to stonewall those critics who give low marks to the wines sold at the LCBO.


"They're taking money out of our pockets! Every low-rated review is a loss of sales and a loss of income to the coffers of this Great Province. The critics need to get on board during this time of economic recovery," said the Corporation.


The source continued, "We have ways to make them come around. We've also got some other ideas to discourage awarding low numbers. Just watch us."


More on this unhappy event and squashing of press privilege as it happens…

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