$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ALL THE RUMOURS, MYTHS, & WEIRD WINE $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ AND FOOD STORIES YOU CAN HANDLE.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$SS "NO MATTER HOW CYNICAL I GET, I CAN NEVER KEEP UP" (Lily Tomlin)

******************************* WINNER OF THREE MAJOR SPIFFY AWARDS FOR WINE SATIRE !!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

BREAKING NEWS: Liberals kill eco levies, blame GOSH for spreading bad news.



TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – In a stunning admission of defeat, the Liberal Government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, has today announced the cancellation of all eco levies. The Minister of the Environment admitted that the plan to add eco levies to the sale of alcohol was "not very well-thought out".

The Ontario government has now blamed the whole matter on GOSH Wine News Services. Up for the high jump are top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby and GOSH founder, Dean Tudor. "But we are just the messengers!" they exclaimed.

The Minister went on to say, "I don't know who leaked this to GOSH Wine News Services, but I'll get them if it's the last thing I do!"

According to reliable sources, the reportage by GOSH Wine News Services on Sunday July 18, 2010, blew the lid off the surreptitious activity of blending and hiding the eco levies within the general HST increases on the sales of bottles of alcoholic beverages in Ontario, A Have-Not Province.

The Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Crown Corporation of a Have-Not Province, was forced to re-calculate all of its prices on Dollarama-bought abacuses because they had a brownout blamed on the blown fuses that occurred when the LCB found out what it had to do – with no overtime compensation.

Held without bail but pleading the example of Lord Konrad Black, both Grimsby and Tudor looked gleeful as they knew they had brought a government to its knees by divulging the fact that the government had placed alcohol into the hazardous waste category, hoping to make a few extra bucks (see previous news story, Sunday July 18 at http://fauxvoixvincuisine.blogspot.com/2010/07/gosh-new-eco-levies-fees-or-taxes-to-be.html).

Little Fat Wino has agreed to start up a legal defence fund, beginning with a dynamic, open-to-the-public tasting of diverse hazardous wastes from both Bordeaux and Ontario. Profits will go to the Wine Writers Defence Fund, now being administered by the Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association. There is also some talk of a baked goods sale built around maderized wine.

Once again, the power of the press (and GOSH Wine News Services) has been demonstrated by the brave actions of just a few people. Deeds like these need to be exposed, and GOSH Wine News Services will continue to leak what it can, when it can, and to who it can.

More on this story as it unfolds…we will NOT go away…


No comments: