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Sunday, May 15, 2011

Foxy Wine News Network to detail SomewhereElse wines

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network, which launched last month to a stunning audience of 4,000 nationwide (almost 1,000 in the most-prized demographic group!), has just learned that the International and Canadian Blends Moguls (ICBMs) have created yet another line of wines.


To be named SomewhereElse™, the line will comprise some "100% homegrown fruit" (the word "homegrown" has not yet been defined) and be available for sale only in the wine stores operated by the ICBMs, which have all been re-branded as "Incoming Stores".


It is to be hoped that trading on the name "SomewhereNess" will direct a sales flow to the wine stores. Directors of SomwehereNess were not available for comment.


SomewhereElse™ will be up against Freggie™ the 100% homegrown fruit AND vegetable wine. A spokesperson for the ICBMs saw no conflict with Freggie™ since the latter's fruit is non-grape in form.


The new wine war between SomewhereElse™ and Freggie™ will be one of water rights for the stretch water component. Such territorial aggression will give new meaning to the ICBM's use of the word "Incoming" to describe their new offerings at their re-branded stores.


The Fruit Wineries of Ontario, who have a vested interest in Freggie™, are incensed over the matter, and they promise to launch a terroir-driven series of fruit wines emphasizing farms and orchards. Fruit varietals will be matched against soil samples; the process is expected to take several years.


The Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Ruled by The Grate McGinty has already suggested that they want nothing to do with the quarrels. Said a spokesperson, "This is all an internal matter, it has nothing to do with us. But of course they do need to resolve it".


More on this story as it develops…


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