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Monday, May 23, 2011

GOSH: ICBM launch of new Cellared in Canada wines

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network has just learned that the newly-formed International and Canadian Blends Moguls (ICBMs), an alliance devoted to the reformed CellaredInCanada™ program, will be launching two new series of wines.


The first series will be a critter series. "We did the due diligence thing," said a spokesperson the ICBM, "but found to our dismay that all of the best critter names were taken. Nevertheless, we are forging ahead with new red and white wines from off-shore and in-shore content, reflecting the character of the original countries, whether Chile, Argentina, Italy or Canada."


When asked what we can expect from the new names, the ICBM said, "We can still use critter names such as Scapegoat, Polecat, Cougar, Snake in the Grass, and Nag. All of these are under consideration."


The other series of wines, expected to appeal to a younger crowd by virtue of their low-alcohol content of some ten percent, will embrace the names of social media. There'll be a red wine label headed OMG, another dedicated to LOL, a third to RTFM, another to ROTFL, and even one labelled BFF. One can just imagine the ad campaign for BFF: hey, where's the beef?


The social media wines will be heavily advertised on Facebook, Twitter, My Space, LinkedIn, Blogger, Blogspot, and other sites for social writings. There will be no print or broadcast advertising, except for the critter wines.


At one time the ICBM was seriously interested in buying Freggie™ the all-fruit, all-vegetable wine, but research showed that the wine was 100% domestic and hence ineligible for funding as an ICB by Ontario, A Have-Not Province. The hostile takeover was quietly dropped.


All wines will be sold at the Liberal Control of Beverages for Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of a Have-Not Province led (for the moment) by The Grate McGinty.


More on this story as it develops…


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