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Monday, March 26, 2012

LCBO to raise prices 50% on high alcohol wines

TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network, always enjoyed by 4,000 weeknight watchers, has just learned from our sources that The Grate McGinty's Minority Ontario Government, a Have-Not Government in Canada, will be seeking more money from the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation.


Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this leaked story, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may be imminent with tomorrow's budget, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.


According to a spokesperson from the LCBO, the Darth "Vader" Grabinsky report commissioned to assess ways and means of revenue generation at the LCBO actually included an idea on raising wine prices.


Lax Oversight, the LCBO spokesperson who subsequently denied that his conversation was "on the record", said that the Ontario Budget will propose an immediate 50% increase in the base price of all wines sold in Ontario which exceed 12.5% Alcohol By Volume (ABV). Those fruit bombs are going to cost more money beginning Tuesday March 27, at 5PM. This is supposed to be part of the LCBO's "Return to Normalcy" campaign, in an effort to reduce the higher alcohol levels in wine and produce more revenue at the same time.


Foxy Wine News Network will stay on top of this story and will report further as new developments emerge…

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