$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ALL THE RUMOURS, MYTHS, & WEIRD WINE $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ AND FOOD STORIES YOU CAN HANDLE.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$SS "NO MATTER HOW CYNICAL I GET, I CAN NEVER KEEP UP" (Lily Tomlin)

******************************* WINNER OF THREE MAJOR SPIFFY AWARDS FOR WINE SATIRE !!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: An Ontario Government scheme to avert revenue loss caused by pending LCBO strike

TRAWNA - (GOSH Wine News Services) - BREAKING NEWS just in:

The government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, claims to have come up with
a scheme to avert the loss of income through any LCBO strike or lockout.

Top wine investigative reporter Brett Grimsby has been on the scene for
weeks now, and he files this story based on several interviews with Miffed
Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the
situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were
not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre
of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been
finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not
have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may
or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific
timeline is not really known.

What is known, says Grimsby, is that a secret protocol is in the process of
being developed between the Treasury Board of Ontario, A Have-Not Province,
and the Ontario Viniculture Association, A Have-Not Wine Association. Says
Grimsby, "The protocol should be mutually advantageous to both parties. My
sources tell me that in event of a strike or lockout by the LCBO, special
enabling legislation and regulations will be passed allowing all OVA members
to sell wines in outlets throughout Ontario. This will mean farmers'
markets, crafts fairs, vegetable and fruit roadside vending booths, anything
under a tent such as circuses, maybe even Dollaramas."

OVA has secretly been advising its members to ramp up bottling lines, to
produce everything they possibly can in advance of any shutdown expected
after June 24, 2009. The Wine Counsel is not amused, and has been advising
its members to also be prepared in its wine store operations for June 24.

Concerns have been raised within the OVA, over the real possibility that
there might NOT be a strike. Questions have been asked about wine bottling
surpluses. The Ontario government, anxious for a continuing revenue stream,
has not really addressed this issue. Miffed Mole thinks that, if there is no
strike, then the government will simply walk away from the OVA wine surplus,
and expect OVA members to absorb the inventory costs. No bailout is

More on this exciting and exacting story as it unfolds.

Chimo! www.deantudor.com

No comments: